Grief Management

Stages of grief

Grief has its stages and it’s important to recognize them to help you normalize what you feel. The stages can occur in any order and may repeat. They include some or all of the following.

• Denial: One feels that the loss is unreal and will reverse, or that it is a bad dream. Some people tend to disassociate from the loss and behave as though everything is normal.

• Anger: Denial gives way to feelings of “Why me? It’s not fair…”Along with feelings of blame or hatred towards the person or oneself.

• Bargaining: Common in divorces and breakups. “Maybe it doesn’t have to end?” ”Maybe we could try again?”

• Depression: Sadness and fears about the future set in. One may fear being lonely, being alone forever, never being happy again.

• Acceptance: Finally one accepts the reality of the situation and understands the need to try and move on. This depends on the person or situation.

 Healthy coping strategies

·        Take it one hour at a time, one day at a time, if need be one moment at a time.

·        Get enough sleep or at least enough rest. Ask your doctor for a prescription sleeping pill to help you get some rest.

·        Try and maintain some type of normal routine.

·        Eat a balanced diet. Limit high calorie and junk food. Drink plenty of water. Unhealthy food will lead to further depression.

·        Avoid alcohol, medication or other drugs.

·        Do things and be with people who comfort, sustain and recharge you.

·        Talk to others, especially those who have lived through and survived similar experiences. Seek online support groups.

·        Find creative ways – journal, paint, photograph, build woodwork, quilt, knit – to express your feelings.

·        Recall coping skills you used to survive past losses. Draw upon these inner strengths again.

·        It is okay to feel depressed and not want to do anything. It is also okay to ask for help and reach for help and reach out even at odd hours. Be kind to yourself and accept the process of grieving, like crying spells, depression, lack of desire for work or pleasure, or the inability to “hold it together.”