One Liners...

I say no to alcohol. It just doesn’t listen

A friend in need is a past indeed

Marriage   is one of the chief causes of divorce

Work is fine if it doesn’t take too much of your time

When everything comes in your way you are in the wrong lane

The light at the end of tunnel may be an oncoming train.

Born free taxed to death

Everyone has a photographic memory.  Some just don’t have films

Life is uncertain; always eat your desert first

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking

If you keep your feet firmly on the ground you will trouble putting on your pants

It’s not hard to meet expenses, they are everywhere

I have being a writer but what I can’t stand is the    paper work

A printer consists of   three main parts, the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red eye

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot.  The guy who invented the other three was a genius.

The trouble with being practical is that no one is there to appreciate it.

In a country of free speech why are   here phone bills?

If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?

Beet the 5 ‘O’ clock rush, leave work at noon!

If you can’t convince them, confuse them

It is not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end

I couldn’t repair your brakes so I made your horn louder

Hot glass looks same as cold glass

The cigarette does the smoking, you are just the sucker

Some day is not the day of the week

Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.

To err is human; to forgive is not a company’s policy   

The road to success is always under construction

Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but if you think again neither does milk

In order to get a loan you first need to prove that you don’t need it.

All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive, fattening or married to somebody else.

Use what talents you have.  The woods  would be silent if no birds sang  there except  that sang best