The English Could have invented this Language

We will begin with a box, and the plural in boxes. But the plural of ox becomes oxen, not oxes.

One fowl is a goose but two are called geese, yet the plural of mouse should never be meese.

You may find a lone mouse or a nest full of mice, yet the plural of house is houses not hice.

If the  plural  of man  is always  called  men, then  should  not  the plural  of pan  be called  pen ?

If I speak of my foot and show   you my feet and I gave you boot, would a pair be called beet?

If one is a tooth and whole set are teeth, why shouldn’t the     plural of booth be called beath.

Then one may be that and three would be those, yet hat in the plural would never be hose.  And the plural of cat   is cats not cose.

We speak of brother and also of breathern, but though we say mother, we never say methern.

Then the masculine pronouns are he, his and him, but imagine the feminine,   she, shis and shim!

Let’s face it English is crazy language.

There is no egg in egg plant or ham in hamburger.

Neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren’t invented in England

We take English for granted but if we explore its paradoxes, we find  that  quick and  can  works  slowly,  boxing rings  are square  and  a guinea pig  is neither  from  Guinea  nor   is it a pig.

And why  is it  that   writes  write  but  fingers  don’t  fing,  grocers  don’t groce  and  hammers  don’t  ham.

Doesn’t it seems crazy that you make amends but not once amend.

If you   have  a bunch of odds and ends   and  get rid  of all  but  one  of them  what  do you  call it ?

If teachers taught, why didn’t preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eats?

Sometimes I think all the folks who grew up speaking English should be committed to a asylum for the   verbally   insane.

In what other language do the people recite at a play and play at a recital.

We ship by truck and send cargo by ship.

We have noses that run and feet that smell.

We park in a drive way and drive in a parkway. 

And how can a slim chance and fat chances be the same while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have  to marvel  at a unique  lunacy  of a language  in which  your  house  can  burn  up  as it  burns  down.

In which you fill in the form by filling it out and in which an alarm goes off by going on.

An in closing if father is pop, how come mothers not mop

An if people  from  Poland are called poles, people  from Holland should be holes and German, Germs.