Channel Your Anger

Sometimes anger can spur creativity or push people to find solutions to problem.

Practice keeping your temper under control.

Channel your anger into a positive manner.

Some suggestions are:-

Count up to 10, steps out of the room.

Take a short break before expressing what is making you angry.

It is much healthier to let your anger go than to keep it inside.

Anger always acts as an incentive. It serves to release forces and can initiate a process of change.

Anger forces you to seek out alternative solutions to a problem.

Human tends to assume a distant view of obstacles. They pay attention to the over all situation and not to details.

Society tolerates anger outbursts by men more.

You won’t hurt anyone by being polite but its less likely that you will be understood by a man.

Going for a walk in the fresh air can help clear your head.

Writing down what has sparked your ire can help you formulate your thoughts as you can express yourself better subsequently.

Try putting yourself in the position of the person you are having the argument with.

Sleeping over things can provide the distance you need to the problem and allow you to deal with it better.  

The Animal School

The animals got together in the forest one day and decided to start a school.  There was a rabbit, a bird, a squirrel, a fish and an eel, and they formed a board of directors.  The rabbit insisted that running be in the curriculum.  The bird insisted that flying be in the curriculum.  The fish insisted that swimming had to be in the curriculum and the squirrel said that perpendicular tree climbing was absolutely necessary to the curriculum.  They put all of these things together and wrote a curriculum guide.  Then they insisted that all of the animals take all of the subjects

Although the rabbit was getting an A in running, perpendicular tree climbing was a real problem for him.  He kept falling over backward.  Pretty soon he got to be sort of brain damaged and could not run anymore.  He found that instead of making an A in running he was making a C, and off course he always made an F in Perpendicular climbing.  The bird was really beautiful at fling but when it came to burrowing in the ground, he could not do so well.  He kept breaking his back & wings.   Pretty soon he was making a C in flying as well as an F in burrowing and he had a hell of a time with perpendicular tree climbing.

Finally the animal that ended up being valedictorian of the class was a mentally retarded eel that did everything halfway.   But the educators were happy because everybody was taking all of the subjects and it was call a “broad based education”.

We laugh at this, but that’s how it is.  It is what is happening to you.  We really are trying to make everybody the same as everybody else; hence destroying everybody’s potential for being himself.  Intelligence dies in imitating others.

Being Friendly With Boss

CONVENTIONAL LOGIC:

Better to keep distance.

Avoid building potentially uncomfortable, improper, relationships.

Befriending boss suits away his authority.

Perception of favoritism creeps in atmosphere.

Friendship falls victim of malicious office politics causing embarrassment to Boss.

Blurs the line & make it difficult for Boss & the subordinates to switch between the friendship/professionalism mode.

MODERN TRENDS:

Just like co-workers out of hours friendship with Bosses has the making of some great work relationships.

It gives you a role model to look up to and motivates you to work much harder.

Makes work enjoyable.

Promotes loyalty & professionalism and increases productivity & efficiency.

Forge valuable intimate & enjoyable connection with boss.

RULES ON MAKING FRIENDS WITH BOSS:

Outline the explicit do & don’ts right from the start.

Always maintain professional decorum.

Never do anything that can embarrass you later.

One can have dinner, watch cricket or play football but never drink and gamble together.

No confiding intimate details or secret.

Keep on guard on what you speak as it can be used to judge your performance potential.

Maintain a genuine friendship and do not use it for expediency.

Keep a low key about your friendship in the office. Never boast of it.

Never gossip with Boss about other staff members or discuss the Boss affairs with other co-workers.

Never ask the Boss personal questions or offer needless opinions.

Keep the friendship strictly external and let it not impinge on the work either.

Do not take it personally if Boss checks you or reprimand you for your work or behavior. He is the Boss, it’s his authority.

Never take him for granted. Respect him for his position.

Keep relationship on fair footing.

Do not build in appropriate expectation or unrealistic concessions like granting, favors, sharing confidential information, ignoring orders, shielding you for poor performance, special treatment etc.

Be prepared that your genuine success and progress can always be attributed to brown nosing by jealous co-workers.

Continue to keep work relationships courteous, friendly and above all professional.

Anytime you feel yourself over sleeping move back immediately and keep the relationship primarily work-based.     

    

 

Stress of Leadreship

In stress power motives are aroused, the body reacts by secreting more adrenaline and noradrenalin, the body’s stress hormones. This leads to higher blood pressure getting the individual ready for action. At the same time body secrets stress hormone cortisol which is longer lasting then adrenaline which interfere with new learning.

Cultivating special relationships whose sole purpose is to help you along your path is crucial to continuing development.

MENTOR & COACHES

A coach will understand the leaders dilemmas from multiple perspectives, the individual level (what’s going on for the person), the team level (the group dynamics) and the organizational level (how all of this fits with culture, systems and strategy).

WHEN TEAM FAILS: THE POWER OF NORMS

Even groups comprising brilliant individuals will make bad decisions if the group disintegrates into bickering, inter personal rivalry or power plays.

Groups are smarter then individuals only when they exhibit the qualities of emotional intelligence.

It is always the group leader who sets the tone and helps to create the group emotional reality, “how it feels to be part of the team”.

Mature group leaders know how to balance a team’s focus on the task at hand with attention to the relationships among the team members. They create a friendly cooperative climate in the room, a climate that fosters a positive outlook on the future.

A group leader who isn’t emotionally intelligent can wreak havoc in a team situation.

One of the biggest mistakes leaders can make ignoring the realities of team ground rules and the collective emotions in the tribe and assuming that the force of their leadership alone is enough to drive people’s behavior.

Collective emotional intelligence is what sets top performing teams apart from average teams.

Group EI, determine a teams ability to manage its emotions in a way that cultivates trust, group identify and group efficiency and so maximize cooperation, collaborations and effectiveness.

        

Goal Setting

HOW PEOPLE DETERMINE VALUE

Value changes throughout your life, related to events such as marriage, birth of a child or being fired. A personal philosophy is the way he determines values and which leadership style he gravitates towards. A leader who values achieving goal above all else will naturally be a pacesetter viewing a more democratic style as a waste of time.

GOAL SETTING: A NEW PERSPECTIVE

Goals should be built on one’s strength not on ones weakness.

Goals must be the person’s own, not goals that some one else had imposed.

Plan should flexibly allow people to prepare for the future in different ways; a single planning method imposed by an organization will often prove counter productive.

Plan must be feasible with manageable steps. Plans that don’t fit smoothly into a person’s life and work likely to be dropped with in no time.

Plans that don’t suit a person’s learning style will prove demotivating & quickly lose his attention.

TO IMPROVE ABILITY AS A SPEAKER

To improve ability as speakers, set following concrete goals for themselves.

Give at least two formal presentations every month and have them critiqued by a peer one respect.

Practice with a friend before giving a presentation.

Videotape yourself giving a speech and critique it with your superiors.

Join toastmasters so you can practice giving more effective talks.

Talk to people who give oral presentations in a manner that comes across as relaxed and interesting and find out what they do to prepare. How they overcome stage fright and relax during presentation.

PEOPLE LEARN MOST THROUGH ONE OF THE FOLLOWING MODES

Concrete Experience: Experience that allows them to see & feel what it is like.

Reflection: Thinking about their own and others experiences.

Model Building: Coming up with a theory that makes sense of what they observe.

Trial & Error Learning: Trying something out by actively experimenting with a new approach.

Learning often happens best by applying some if these combinations of two or three of above mentioned modes.

FOUR STEPS WHEN YOU START TO FEEL UPSET

Step back – listen, don’t jump in.

Let the other person speak.

Get some objectivity, ask yourself, is there a sound reason for my reaction or I am jumping into conclusions?

Ask clarifying questions rather than ones that sound judgmental or hostile.

NEW MODE OF LEARNING

Lesson people get in leadership start very early in life from observing parents teachers coaches clergy anyone who has been in the role of a leader in lives.

Then they step in their first leadership roles in clubs team’s, student unions and organizations or as leaders in their peer groups. They put those models in practice.

In their jobs they encounter new leaders and new leadership behaviors and add to their experience.

So far the leadership traits arise naturally in the course of life determining what a person will automatically tend to do in similar situations throughout life. This is called Habit Implicit learning.

Net result people end up with a mixed bag of leadership skills akin to having mastered a few golf strokes but being a terrible pitter.

The only way to improve now is by doing three things. Bring bad habits into awareness, consciously practicing a better way and by rehearsing that new behavior at every opportunity until it becomes automatic.

To master a new skill they need repetition and practice. That’s why leadership abilities cannot be learnt in class room. A teacher can’t instruct your brain to relearn new habits. What is needed is practice.

ALL PERFORMANCE, NO PRACTICE

Experimentation with more positive alternative is crucial. The new way of thinking feeling or acing feels unnatural at first, like putting some one else’s cloth.

Great athlete spend a lot of time practicing and a little time performing while executives spends no time practicing and all of their time performing.

The key to learning new habits lies in practice to the point of mastery. Otherwise they invite a relapse a return of old habits.

First focus a bit more on overcoming the impulsive leadership habits you are trying to undo before giving full attention to the new habits.

STEALTH LEARNING

Takes place in seminars, over a week of offsite training.

First become a better listener at home with friends.

The trick is to learn while doing other things stealth learning can be useful for improving emotional intelligence abilities & leadership skills.

POWER OF MENTAL REHEARSAL

Leadership success depends upon your ability to clearly picture yourself achieving your ideal state and than maintaining that focus. The visualization has another advantage. Brain remembers, motivates by carrying an image of our success.