RAPE

“Rape “is the latest four-letter word in the English language to be accepted into the public vocabulary. But unlike the others which have recently been admitted to common parlance, “rape” retains its dictionary meaning-that’s part of the trouble with it. Most newly emancipated no relationship to their define meanings. But rape is rape and it is with exactly that meaning that it is now, still somewhat hesitantly, being pronounced out load. For centuries it was whispered behind one’s hand, not spoken in mixed company, and never mentioned in front of the children because, as everyone knew, rape wasn’t nice.

We still know that. In fact, we now know, probably better than at any time in history, just how far from” nice” rape really is. And this knowledge comes to us because we have finally decided to talk about rape. In addition to those of us who are directly concerned with its prevention, the rape victim herself can now speak out about what happen to her. She can also now find the heaven of a listener who will be concerned and sympathetic, and who will not forever afterward see her as a “ruined woman”.

But this attitude is far from universal. It exists mainly among young women and persons of either sex who have joined the recent movements for rape prevention or victim support-a relatively small segment of society. The balance of the population accepts the present high-frequently usage of the term “rape” by the news media and the entertainment world with emotions ranging all the way from amazement through anger.

We will hear more about rape. And it is to be hoped that any remaining reluctance to engage in open discussion of it will gradually disintegrate so that the way may be cleared for progress in dealing with it.

During the past five years, some of our inhibitions at discussing rape have been eroded away by the ever increasing flood of articles, television shows, and lectures on this subject. At present, just about every one of the regular TV drama shows, including the new ones fall, has now used rape as a subject of one of its episodes. Prior to that rape was one of the most hush-hush no-no’s on the air waves.

One reason for the avalanche of rape dramas now being beamed into living rooms is that everything else that could be said about sex has already been said, photographed, and relayed to us in living color. The emancipation of rape opened up the first new subject matter for TV viewing since Neil Armstrong stepped down onto the moon.

The other reason is that rape has more impact than most topics. Everybody felt good when Armstrong’s big clumsy boot slipped down into the moon dust. On the other hand, the emotions aroused by rape drama are many and varied. They include disgust, hate, fear, irritation, shame, horror, guilt, revenge, doubt-the list could go on and on, as the discussions of the shows do afterward.

Many feel that there would be no problem if rape were not publicized; some feel that there s such problem anyway; others are increased by public apathy about real rapes, and many women are badly frightened as they wonder if rape could possibly happen to them.

Some of the rape dramas have erred badly and have presented situations connected with the treatment of the victim which belong in an earlier time. But in general, the enlightening and therefore useful because, unlike the giant step of the man on the moon, each rape that occurs is a stumble backward into Dark Ages.

Why then has rape been a forbidden topic for so long? The obvious answer is that it concern sex. But marriage is concerned with sex too, and we have always been free to talk about that. Love is concerned with sex; having babies also has something to do with sex, as does the Miss America contest, fashion magazines, and yellow polka dot bikinis. Why keep rape under wraps?

 The answer probably lies in the fact that the mention of rape makes us all uneasy-for different reasons depending on who we are. It makes men queasiest of all perhaps; usually bring forth an initial response of nervous laughter or guffaw-evoking jokes. After all, as far as the normal, but uninformed, man knows, rape is something he might suddenly do himself some night if life becomes too dull. It isn’t of course, but he knows too little about it to realize that.

On the other hand, the thoughtful normal man after hearing the details of a forcible rape finds it difficult to believe. He cannot imagine himself maintaining any sex drive at all when confronted by a crying, pleading woman who only complies with his wishes because of mortal fear of him. He knows that all thoughts of sex – which he equates with fun, romance, and mutual admiration-would leave him if the woman were really struggling to get free, especially if she were also clearly expressing repugnance for him. He does not realize that, to the rapist, the act is not “love” not ardor, and usually not even passion; it is a way of debasing and degrading a woman. (More about this later when I discuss the rapist.). Therefore, to most men, forcible rape is unreal. This gives rise to the community held view that: “There is no such thing as rape.”

The topic makes women uneasy for a wide variety of reasons. To most women, it is almost as unreal as it is to most men because they themselves have not experienced it, and few people who have done so are in the habit of talking about it. Up until recently, most women did not even know anyone who had experienced it-or at least they were not aware that they knew a rape victim. This was because having been raped was in the same category as having had an illegitimate child or V.D.-it was a dark blot on one’s character and was kept as a morbid secret.

At the same time, an occasional newspaper story about a particularly brutal rape-murder makes all women shudder. They wonder if it could possibly happen to them, and if it did how they would react. But like all other grim possibilities that are not immediately at hand, it is much more comfortable to put the thought out of one’s mind than to have it presented flatly as something that just might be lurking around the next corner regardless of how impeccable a woman’s morals might be. It is the shadowy figure in the night standing over one’s bed, the glimpse of a woman crawling in the bedroom window, the horror of a sudden hand from nowhere clutching at one’s throat. Practically every woman has, at sometime, had such a nightmare. But upon awakening, she replaces it with, reproachful self assurance: “How silly!” “Of course there’s no one there”

To be told that for a startlingly large number of women, the nightmare did not go away, is enlightenment that most women are happier without.

One way of coping with such knowledge is to imagine. And then believe, that women to whom rape happens are in some way vastly different from oneself. Deciding that they must have been taller, shorter, fatter, thinner, older or younger will not work rape victims come in all variations of these attributes. It is far easier to settle on some impalpable quality which is not so easily measured with a ruler or scale. This accounts for the overwhelming number of women who firmly believe that the most claims of being raped are either outright lies, or that the rapes were brought on by the victims herself, who was “out looking for it”.

In the majority of rapes, if the actual details of each assault were made public, it would quickly dispel these views. But rape details seldom are made public. The mores of news reporting do not allow it. In one sense, this is just as a change in the American way of life – few people could stand complete rape stories with their morning coffee.

It takes a strong stomach and repeated exposure to become habituated to the details of what actually happens to rape victims. During and after a war, we often read of the tortures inflicted on prisoners of war. Such things are being forced to drink one’s own urine or being made to kneel on a stone floor for several hours are undeniably shocking, painful, and degrading. But they are part of horrors of war, and with war’s end, we rejoice that no one in our civilization will again be forced to endure such indignities. Returning prisoners of war are treated with awe and respect because of having lived through such humiliation and suffering.

Yet, every night of the year(statistically speaking, once every fourteen minutes day and night, all year long) here in our civilized society, some woman endures treatment which is every bit as horrible, just as degrading, and equally painful. Being stripped naked by two men, and held flat on one’s  back among the trash cans in an alley by one of them, while the other repeatedly rams a dirty Coke bottle from one of those trash cans into one’s vagina is not very civilized. But no one lauds the victims for surviving. No one invited her to the white house for dinner in horror of what she has had to live through.

We cringe at the thought of small children in wartime being neglected hungry or shot at. Yet, at least one out of every five rape victims in this country is under twelve years of age, and many are as young as four or five years old. Their scares are as deep as the war orphan’s but their stories can never be told. The public cannot reach out to them with sympathy an understanding for what they have been through. Instead, they are often severely scolded by a parent, or at the very least they must be admonished to never mention the incident again. If it should become known, neighbors who used to be close friend’s will not allow their children to play with a little girl who has been raped.

So, rape has flourished and increased, like a hidden infestation, because it is hard to face. Therefore, the first step in reversing this trend must be to examine the facts. After that, the fiction must be sheared away and discarded. Then the social climate surrounding the rape victim must be considered, as well as the propensities of the public and private agencies who take up her cause and the motivations of the rapist. Only then will it be clear steps must be taken in order to clear up the trouble with rape.