PUBLICITY

                                                         
Publicity is a double edged sword that can often slice through the very person it has promoted. Besides, the higher the profile gets, the heavier the burden one is compelled to carry. Publicity operates on its own logic. Nobody can claim to have total control over it. However, if one is aware of its pitfalls and treads cautiously, it’s possible to take stock, step out for a breather and then make the next move.

There is no point being struck with an image over which one has absolutely no control. Its important to remain on top of it, to manipulate the image rather than have it manipulated you. When things back fire, you have to ready with a fire fighting operation of your own. The downside cannot be avoided, no matter how clever the positioning. We live in media driven times. Nobody but nobody is so well known or so successful that he or she can refuse to participate in a structured programme.

Yesterday I was invited to spice up an otherwise drab gathering of self important individuals. I found myself seated next to a very high profile civilian. He balanced his heavy ceramic dinner plate on his knees just as I did. It’s hard enough to eat traditional Indian food off fine crockery with silver knives and forks. Harder still when one is forced to load the plate with different curries floating around and merging into an unappetizing brown muddy mess, walk back to a stuffed surface-edged napkin carefully with one hand and balance the heavy plate with another. Then to have to sit yourself down next to a stranger, try and make polite party conversation with out too much eye contact while keeping one eye on the runny river on the flat dinner plate to prevent it from spilling over and staining a favorite dress

Publicity is far crueler to women than men. Many women who generate a great deal of it (beauty contestants, models, actresses, pop singers) do so because of the way they look.

Most people criticize “Cheap publicity” till they get some themselves. Once they see their names in print they want to see it in lights. Once they get public recognition, they want to perpetuate the moment. Once they sign their first autograph, they never want to stop. Very few individuals are honest enough to say so. I have seen it happen even with the most reticent of them, genuinely shy people. I have seen them blush and bloom under the spot light, still insisting they were uncomfortable with the attention, but praying hard for it to not disappear, those who have shrewdly taken the other route (I’m a recluse, I detest publicity) have benefited the most from it. “Committed” commentators who mock the “champagne journalists” do so until they have their first sip of bubbly. Once they get on to those much coveted party lists, they learn to boogey in a hurry and don’t stop till die on the dance floor.

They are some people who are “self declared recluse”. It is one way of keeping the market up. Create an aura of exclusivity pretend to shun publicity and have the media chase you. Very often such people end up with more of it than those who are more up front. It is rather a clever ruse, especially when the person doesn’t have very much to sell besides an ambiguous and enigmatic persona.

Most times, people who claim to “shun” publicity need to rephrase their views. What they actually mean is they don’t really mind publicity, so long as it’s positive. Give them one adverse comment and they go ballistic. Their skin turns to rice paper and they can’t stop talking about how irresponsible the press is. Publicity that stokes their eggs is taken for granted even as they exclaim. Can’t they find their other people to write about?

I overheard a dubious businessman saying coyly to his girl companion. “I have to be careful these days; people like us who are in lime light become easy targets because we are so recognizable. This man would require a placard with his name hung around his neck for anybody to know who he was. But he genuinely believed he’d arrived because some obscure communist had mentioned his name in her column for being the owner of couple of snazzy cars. And this man there on was on publicity high, nobody in his circle dared to shatter, his illusions- they couldn’t afford to. He paid all their bills.

I have noticed that in surveys about sexual attitudes its always the men who are asked question on frequency how many times a week?  A month? A year? Women are rarely asked this. Why is that?

Publishing

                                                           

The unromantic fact that publishing is a business like any other-books must sell and if they have to move from the shelves, the publisher has to know the marketing. The book buying public is exclusively limited. Books themselves are seen as some thing of a luxury. Most families can think of dozen s of parities that would take natural precedence over purchasing a novel. In such an environment, it is difficult for a writer to get noted and for a book to move off the shelves.

Besides, the book buying traditions itself barely exists in the metros. Here again it isn’t fiction that sells so much as self help books from overseas. People who visit book fairs are shopping around for bargain prices for expensive journals on technical subjects. They aren’t there to pick up best-sellers those are bought at stations, airports and traffic lights. Writers with a thin skin should stay away from books fairs till they are sufficiently established.

We lack both the will and the experience to exploit a book’s commercial potential by providing the right infrastructure to author. If the individual lacks that ambiguous factor called “Charisma”. If he or she does not interest the media, if he or she is idealistic enough to believe that at the end of the day a good book will succeed in finding its own audience-that’s a major misconception, especially in India.

The poor sales are because of low public awareness. Why should someone think of buying a book nobody even knows is available? Which is why no amount of publicity is too much publicity for this underrated largely misrepresented vocation? Without readers these are to books. Only self-indulgence and vanity. Call it a horse race. Call is a commercialization. All the end of the day, even this lofty game called publishing is all about numbers.                 

A CALL TO ACTION

Our challenge is to give voice to women whose experience goes unnoticed and whose words go unheard.  Much of the work women do is not valued, not by economics, histories or government leaders.  I want to speak  up for  women  who are  raising children  on the minimum wage,  women  who can’t afford  health care  or child care, women whose  lives are  threatened by violence, including  violence  in their  own homes.

I want to speak up for  women who are working all night as nurses, at hotel desks and as fast food  chefs  so that they can  be at home during  the day  with their  kids and for women  who simply  don’t have  time  to do  everything  they are  called upon  to do each day.

Most women work both inside and outside the home usually by necessity, there is no formula for how women should lead their lives.  We must respect the choices that each woman makes for herself and her family.  Every woman deserves the chance to realize her God given potential.      

Both women and men  are entitled  to a range  of  personal security  to the right  to determine freely the number and spacing  of the children they bear No one  should  be forced  to remain  silent  for fear  of religious  or political persecution, arrest  abuse or torture.

Tragically women are most often the ones whose human rights are violated.  And when women are excluded    from the political process they become even more vulnerable to abuse.

I do not find acceptable to discuss women rights as separate from human rights because:-

(a)        It is violation of  human rights  when babies are  denied  food, drowned  suffocated or have  their  spines broken  simply  because  they are  born girls.

(b)        It is violation of human rights when women and girls are sold into slavery or prostitution.

(c)        It is a violation  of human  rights  when women  are doused  with gasoline, set on fire  and burned to death because  their  marriage  dowries  are deemed  too small.

(d)        It is violation of human rights  when individual women  are raped  in their  own communities and  when thousands of women  are subjected to rape  as  a  tactic  or prize of war.

(e)        It is violation of  human rights  when a leading  cause of death  worldwide  among  women  ages   fourteen to forty four  is the  violence  they are subjected to in their own  homes by their own relatives.

(f)        It is violation of human rights  when  women  are denied  the right  to plan  their  own families  and that includes  being forced  to have  abortions  or being  sterilized  again their will.

We must need the call  to action  so that we can  create a world  in which  every  women  is treated  with respect  and dignity  every  boy and girl  is loved  and cared for equally  and every family  has the  hope of a stable future.    

Life Values

Nothing more powerfully determines the shape of a child’s life than his or her values, internal process, beliefs, sense of right or wrong. A child’s values-more than his or her race, class, sex, ethnicity, neighborhood, genes or background, will determine that child’s fate.

Not all teachers are parents, but all parents are teachers-children first teachers, children’s all but indispensable teachers.

The child is not a ward given to the state for its nurture. The child is a gift of God given in trust to his or her parents. Our schools should treat our young people as gifts of God, not as subjects of social experimentation or as young animals in heat.

Fatherhood involves a lot more than getting a woman pregnant. Real Fatherhood means, love, commitment scarifies and an unwillingness to share responsibility and not walk away from one’s children. Young boys and girls who do not grow up with fathers are far more likely to drop out of school, to become promiscuous, to go on welfare to use drugs, and to commit crime.

Family is the most important institution. Efforts must be made to preserve and strong then the family. Heroic efforts, if necessary. Family values does not mean using code words, seeking a political wedge or speaking to demean or to belittle others, it means seeking to honor and to offering what is best in us. All real education is the architecture of the soul.

Will Your Child Grow Up To Be A Thief?

I recently heard a story told by Rabbi Label Lam. A father gets a call from his son's principal:
"Mr. Gottlieb, I'm afraid we have a little problem with your son, Davie. You see, he's been stealing pencils at school."
"Pencils? My Davie has been stealing pencils? I don't know why. I bring him all the pencils he needs from the office!"
Stealing has many forms. There is stealing that most law-abiding citizens would never consider, such as robbing a bank or taking a friend's camera. Then there is stealing that "everybody" engages in, so it's not considered really stealing. 
But if Mr. Gottlieb can bring home a briefcase full of office supplies, why can't Davie fill his backpack with school supplies too?
A group of high school students was asked, "How many of you would shoplift if you were assured you wouldn't get caught?" An alarming number raised their hands. When asked how they could justify such behavior, many said that stores expect a certain amount of shoplifting and figure that into their budget. So shoplifting isn't really hurting anyone's pocketbook (!) because it's expected, they reasoned.

ACCEPTABLE STEALING
If you are bothered by their reasoning, consider how you might answer the following questions:
• Have you ever told your child as he leaves the house to drive back to college after Thanksgiving vacation to call you collect to let you know he has arrived safely, but you don't plan to accept the charges?
• Do you report truthfully ALL of your income to the IRS?
• Do you honestly reveal all of your assets on financial aid forms?
• Have you ever lied about your child's age to get a reduced admission to a movie, amusement park or concert?
If we want to train our children to be honest it will be the "little things" that count. Children who learn to be meticulous with the little things will be meticulous with the big things as well.
I once heard of a person who would not reuse an uncancelled stamp because he did not want to steal from the post office.
Another story tells of small item left on a windowsill of a yeshiva classroom. Years later one of the students noticed that the item was still there.
A group of high school boys wanted to have a car wash fundraiser in one of the boy's backyard. The family rented their apartment and the landlord paid for the water. The father insisted that they ask the landlord's permission since the excessive water use could be considered stealing.
The boys had not even considered this issue but it made a great impact on the son, who said later that he kept that incident in his mind and would recall it whenever he was tempted to make some money dishonestly.
A higher concept of honesty is developed in children by the everyday lessons they are taught by their parents.
If you would like to know what everyday messages you've communicated to your children, try the following little test:
Ask them if they could get into the best Ivy League school by passing a test which was easy to cheat on would they do it? What do they think you would want them to do?
If your children are too young to make sense of that question, you have time to take stock and make amendments to behavior if needed. After all, nobody wants their child to grow up to be a thief. 

Protect Your Eyes

COMPUTER USERS

1.Dont look in the computer monitor for long time. After every 20 to 30 Minutes of work, look at the distant away object and blink several times. This will help in better Focusing.

2.Blink frequently . People tend to reduce blink reate while working on computer. This can lead to dry eyes. Try to blink 12 to 15 times every minute.

3.There is a simple exercise which helps to improve focusing of eyes and remove eye dryness3

WHY INDIA RAPES

Sadly, it's for the same reasons that india bribes, honks unnecessarily, drives drunk and over speeds, why it pushes and pulls and can't form a line, also why it spits and urinates where it wants and why it insists on scratching its balls before dishing out food with the same hands. India rapes because it lets its kids throw tantrums in public while turning a blind eye, why it looks at foreigners as dollars and Indians as trouble. It also rapes because it makes fun of the handicapped, weakness and intelligence. It rapes for the same reason it cheats people of their money, treats animals without respect and lives for society. The same society that would be the first to run you out of existence, to ensure that your life is not worth living and that rape means your life is over. The same society in who's fear we dare not fail our exams or grow our hair too long or sing a song or wear revealing clothes or come home too late. It's the same society that can't protect and is the first to blame the system. The impotent system made of impotent self serving politicians and the impotent police and the impotent water & electrical supplier and so on. If there was no crime, the police wouldn't be able to put their kids in school, the under paid and under equipped constable is not going to risk his or her life for you. That is the reality. To blame comes easy, but who are you blaming? The police that can't fire a bullet without written consent, the one that can't use handcuffs, the one that in most cases carries gandhis danda? I don't blame the police and I don't hail it. It's an impotent symbol just like our ruling party and the non ruling ones. I don't expect better from either and I won't cry hoarse about it either. I will however preach respect and practice respect. I will also learn to live for myself, with respect to society. I will also teach myself to be equal. The india woman herself needs to wake up to a new india as well. She needs to stop cowering to society, to her own family and to herself. Man and woman can't function without each other. A woman can do anything a man can, it's the man who can't give birth. The Indian woman covers her head and her face, she eats after her husband eats, she is weaker because she feels that she is. She needs to be shown that its not. She needs to be feel empowered and she needs to stop feeling like she's lesser. The Indian man, needs to learn that he isn't in control, that he is no one to control and that it is not he who is more than a woman. There isn't a competition between the sexes. When the Indian man lacks personally he takes out on the woman physically. He takes it out on her for a sense of betterment and ego. For the lack of respect and self respect. The Indian man rapes for the same reason he has no respect for him self in the same way he has no respect for his job or work. If he can't respect his livelihood, how can you expect him to respect anything let alone a woman. Preach respect, teach respect, respect your self and the other, man woman or child. Rape is not sex, sex is pleasure and for both, rape is brutality, there is no pleasure in brutalising someone, anyone. Any man who has ever looked at a woman and said cover up is as pathetic as the man who molests her. What sort of impotent men are we that we can't protect our women. How unaware do we pretend to be that we can't stand up for her dignity and fight for her. Are we only looking to fuck her? Are we only looking at demoralising her and showing her that we men can do what we want but she cannot? Grow your balls and fight for her. Stand raise her and protect her. Travel a bus and be aware for her. Walk the road at night and keep an eye out. Open your ears and eyes to trouble for her. Not because she can't do it for herself but because us men have crushed her faith. Our sex has let hers down. We have historically raped her mind in to fearing. It's time now to change. To create change. To be the change.

WOMEN SAFETY

1) What should a woman do if she finds herself alone in the company of a strange male as she prepares to enter a lift in a high-rise apartment late at night?

Experts Say: Enter the lift. If you need to reach the 13th floor, press all the buttons up to your destination. No one will dare attack you in a lift that stops on every floor.


2) What to do if a stranger tries to attack you when you are alone in your house?

Run into the kitchen.

Experts Say: You alone know where the chili powder and turmeric are kept.
And where the knives and plates are. All these can be turned into deadly
weapons. If nothing else, start throwing plates and utensils all over.
Let them break. Scream. Remember that noise is the greatest enemy of a
molester. He does not want to be caught.

3) Taking an Auto or Taxi at Night.

Experts Say: Before getting into an auto at night, note down its registration number.
Then use the mobile to call your family or friend and pass on the details to them in the language the driver understands .Even if no one answers your call, pretend you are in a conversation.
The driver now knows someone has his details and he will be in serious trouble if anything goes wrong. He is now bound to take you home safe and sound. A potential attacker is now your de facto protector!

4) What if the driver turns into a street he is not supposed to - and you
feel you are entering a danger zone?

Experts Say: Use the handle of your purse or your stole (dupatta) to wrap
around his neck and pull him back. Within seconds, he will feel choked
and helpless. In case you don’t have a purse or stole just pull him back
by his collar. The top button of his shirt would then do the same trick.

5} If you are stalked at night.

Expert Say: enter a shop or a house and explain your predicament.
If it is night and shops are not open, go inside an ATM box. ATM centers
always have security guards. They are also monitored by close circuit television.
Fearing identification, no one will dare attack you.

After all, being mentally alert is the greatest weapon you can ever have.

Secret of Healthy and Happy life

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants, and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy. 
5. Make time for prayer and reflection
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did in 2012.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.

Personality:

10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day —- and while you walk, smile.
11. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don’t over do; keep your limits.
14. Don’t take yourself so seriously; no one else does.
15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:

25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

32. Do the right things.
33. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. Forgiveness heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, don’t take it for granted – embrace life.
39. Your inner most is always happy. So, be happy.
 
 Last but not least:

40. Enjoy LIFE! —

MATURITY

Mature persons have a sincere desire to be productive and to give of that productivity to others. They desire to create and share their creations. They accept their lives and work with satisfaction and joy. They put their talents into each endeavors and their imagination into recreating their lives each day. The mature artists of life are spontaneous, accepting, flexible, receptive to new experience and suspicious of reality. They are harmonious with external force but autonomous, busy with the processes of inventing their own lives. They see existence as a series of choices, the selection of which they must determine and for which they are singularly responsible.

Mature persons have a deep spiritual sense in terms of there relationship with nature and other persons, and recognize the continual wonder of life and living. They make full use of their potentialities, accept themselves as part of great mystery of life, and share there love, joy & wisdom in an open, non-exploitative responsible fashion.

Fully functioning, mature persons are continually growing, for they realize that maturity is not a goal, but rather a process; that the essence of maturity lies in creative and responsible choice. They have a flexible but nonconformist essence of identity, an accepting and vivid sense of who they are, what they can be and where their power lies.

Fundamental to the mature person is the ability to form deep, intimate meaningful relationship that is based upon an “unconditional regar” for the uniqueness of others. Mature people are affectionate loving and sexually responsive. They are sociable, have friends and a sense of community. They are productive workers and dedicated to their labors. They embrace change for the improvement of themselves and others, as well as of the society in which they live. They are self-determined, inventive, good humored and comfortable in their world, with themselves and with others.            

Social Media & Relationships

Engaging in too much social media activity may damage strong relationships, a new Oxford study has warned.
Research by Dr Bernie Hogan of Oxford University tested the theory of 'media multiplexity' (the ability to communicate via several communications channels) which was first posed in 2005.
The theory suggests that there is a clear link between the number of media channels used to communicate, the frequency they are used and the strength of relationship ties.
"This theory was first put forward in an era of email, chat and telephone conversations. However, we are now firmly in the age of digital communication with social media really taking off," Hogan said. "We wanted to see if these more diverse communications channels strengthened relationship ties in the digital era," Hogan added.
Over 24,000 people in marital relationships took part in the new research, using 10 media channels. "We found that those using more media tend to report no greater relationship satisfaction and some even reported decreasing satisfaction," Hogan said.
"This work suggests that media, which now includes online social media, still operates as a signal of ties of strength in relationships.
"However there may be a cut-off point after which the increasing complexity of maintaining so many separate communications threads starts to undermine relationship ties," Hogan said. The study was presented at the Annual Conference of the British Psychological Society in Harrogate.

THE LIFE OF THE HOLY PROPHET OF ISLAM, MOHAMMED, SETS AN EXAMPLE TO FOLLOW IN EVERY FIELD OF LIFE.

The high tributes paid to his personality in the Quran and the Sunnah or Islamic practices remind us of his exalted stature. Five times in a day, the adhan, the call to prayer, reminds Muslims that Mohammed is the Messenger of Allah. In addition, the namaz recited by Muslims also emphasises the unity of Allah and the messengership of the Prophet in the same breath, thereby underscoring the significance of his persona. 

Islam teaches us that Allah introduced Himself in His own words. For the guidance of humankind, Allah sent 124,000 prophets, the first of them being Adam and the last being Mohammed. It was the Holy Prophet of Islam upon whom Allah chose to reveal His final message and complete the chain of prophethood and messengership. The Quran says: "This day, I have perfected the religion (Islam) for you; completed My proof upon you and am satisfied with Islam as a religion". Again, we find that Allah emphasises the finality of prophethood and messengership of the Prophet with the words, "Mohammed is not the father of any of the men among you, but he is the Messenger of Allah and the seal of the Prophets." 

At one place, the Holy Prophet is called "Uswatul Hasanah" - the ideal model to emulate, while at another place, he is called the "bearer of good news" (paradise) and a "One who warns" for divine chastisement and retribution. 

The period before the arrival of the Holy Prophet in Arabia was one of ignorance. Wars were fought for petty matters, superstitions were rife and respect for women at its lowest. The social fabric of the Arabs veered more towards vice and debauchery than religion. Principles like justice and shame, which we take for granted in our lives, were thrown to the winds. It was in such difficult circumstances that the Holy Prophet announced his message – one that would change the face and social fabric of the Arabs, and perhaps the world forever. Within a period of 23 years, surely, but surely; with extreme patience; with the odds of success staked against him, the Prophet attracted people towards Allah's message. Enmity was replaced by brotherhood and superstitions traded with firm beliefs and reliance upon Allah.

A single verse from the Quran abolished unspeakable practices that discriminated against the girl child. Through the love showered upon his only daughter, Fatemah, the Prophet reiterated his commitment to the respect and uplift of women.

The path adopted by the Prophet to spread the message and attract more and more people to his message was his excellent character and morals. So whether it was dealing with his family members, his friends or his enemies, he set the highest standards of ethics. It is for this reason that despite the passage of 1,400 years since his birth, he lives amongst us through his teachings. Muslims need to adopt this mode themselves in their lives and through their behaviour and actions, illustrate to the world that they are adherents of a Prophet who was respected for his morals and values.