VOICE MAIL ETIQUETTE
* Voice mail has many benefits and advantages when used properly. However, one should not hide behind it. If callers constantly reach your “voice mail” instead of you, they will suspect that you are avoiding calls. Here are few tips on such things as greetings and responding to voice mail.
FOR TELEPHONE OPERATORS
* Answer before the third ring.
* Smile it shows on your voice.
* Say the full name of company along with the greetings.
* Be patient, polite and in control.
* Sound helpful, attentive, respectful.
* Take permission before putting someone on hold.
* Check back periodically (between 30-45 seconds).
* Inform before transferring the call.
* Don't argue with rude callers.
* Humour the angry and grouch caller.
* Be knowledgeable about the company & office.
TELEPHONE TERROS
* The talkaholic.
* The Interrupter.
* The member.
* The yeller.
* The Amnesiac.
* Mr curt.
* Mr Groucho.
MOBILE PHONE ETIQUETTE
* Cell phones are now taken for granted. Their explosion has produced a need for a new set of manners and a new etiquette.
* Set the ring tone at audible level.
* Select the tone that is soft & pleasant.
* Most call does not require an immediate response.
* Use vibratory mode in meetings, restaurants, theatres etc.
* Be brief and quiet in public.
* Excuse yourself and go to a corner to speak.
* Don't shout, mobiles have sensitive microphones.
* The other person may be able to hear you, even if you can’t.
* Seek a quiet spot in case of background noise.
* Learn which spots offer the best signal.
* Try later again in case of bad connection.
* Keep a civil and a pleasant tone.
* Gain as little attention as possible.
* Don't say private things in public.
* Keep business private.
* Don't have emotional outbursts.
* Whenever necessary, use vice mail.
* A mobile phone is a utility not a status symbol.
* A mobile phone is meant to be mobile, don’t leave it behind.
SMS ETIQUETTE – 10 GOLDEN RULES
* Be mindful of other schedules.
* Don't SMS while driving, it’s worse than talking.
* Watch the tone of your message.
* Use slang only in informal setting.
* Don't use SMS for formal/important message.
* If immediate exchange is required, make a voice call.
* Don't send “Chain message”.
* Remember SMS too can be traced.
GIFTS & GESTURES
* Gifts should be modest, appropriate practical in accord with sentiments & cultural norms and be at the proper time. Some time a thin line divides a gift and a bribe. Know the difference.
* Give or receive a gift equally graciously.
GESTURES
* Gestures vary greatly from country to country and can easily be the source of misunderstanding or services offenses.
* Avoid torching someone’s hand in the orient.
* Remove your footwear before entering a place of worship.
GIFT OF THE GAFFE
* Will these get you the Order or the Boot?
(a) A clock for your Chinese collaborator.
(b) An umbrella exchanged for the same.
(c) A gift envelop of 101 Yuan.
(d) A gift box of eight chocolates for your colleague’s child.
(e) A box of four diaries for your Korean supplier.
(f) A box of four face towels wrapped in a black & white striped
papers for your Tokyo
(g) A white dress for a little Japanese girl.
(h) A ‘red package” for your hostess in Singapore
(j) A set of handkerchiefs for your Middle East branch office
head.
TRADITIONAL & REVISED ANNIVERSARY GIFTS
First - Wood/clock/silverware
Second - Pottery/leather
Third - Candy/iron/wood
Fourth - Crystal/Watches
Fifth - Paper/Clock
Sixth - Book/Electricals.
Seventh - Copper/Bronze/Brass
Eight - Cotton/China
Ninth - Leather/Crystal/glass
Tenth - China/Platinum
Eleventh - Tin/aluminum
MONTHWISE BIRTHSTONES
January - Garnet
February - Amethyst
March - Bloodstone or aquamarine
April - Diamond
May - Emerald
June - Peal or moonstone
July - Ruby
August - Sardonyx or peridot
September - Sapphire
October - Opal or tourmaline
November - Topaz
December - Turquoise
ON THE STREET
* Perhaps the most important thing about being in public is to be inconspicuous. Unless you area performer, shun loud manners, clothes, mode of speaking, banging into people, calling out, in other words attracting attention to oneself. Only the insecure or boorish are discourteous & inconsiderate, except where they stand to gain.
SOME DO’S
* Be polite to strangers.
* Thanks people for assistance offered.
* On seeing someone requiring assistance, give it.
* Excuse yourself while passing through crowds.
* Keep children in control.
* In case of rain, offer help.
* In meeting someone, fix time & place.
* Be on time.
* Always follow the rules.
* Always maintain dignity & decorum.
* Respect others personal space even in public.
* Children should be made to behave and not disturb others.
SOME DON'T
* Don’t spit.
* Don't make a scene.
* Don't attract attention to yourself.
* Don't use peoples name or yell out.
* Don’t have loud, personal conversations.
* Don't nudge people in public.
* Never be offensive in word or action.
* Never have an out burst or expose your private thoughts.
* Don't lose control even if provoked, walk away.
* Leave a place as clean as you fount it.
LADIES FIRST
* The lady is always given precedence.
* While with a lady, never attract attention to oneself or to her.
* The man walks on the kerbside.
* While with two ladies, never standwitch yourself between them.
* Ask before giving a lady hand.
* If she is carrying weight, offer to take it from her.
* Look out for her high heels, narrow stairs, and dark passages.
* While crossing the street guide by gently touching the arm.
* If offered a ride by a lady with her chauffeur, ask where to sit.
* Don't insist on doing something the lady prefers to do herself.
* Ladies, in turn, should not expect to be paid for, all the time.
ON THE ROAD
* Obey traffic rules.
* Do not put others at a risk.
* Be considerate others on the road.
* Do not swear or make rude gestures.
* Be especially attentive towards the very young the old and the handicapped.
MAKING A PURCHASE
* State intended item clearly.
* Mention options if any.
* Be clear on price.
* Be polite to the desk.
* Do not waste the seller’s time.
* Be considerate towards other’s shoppers.
* Be discreet if inquiring about discounts.
* Do not compare with goods elsewhere.
* Thanks sales persons before leaving.
ON A BUS
* Stand in a queue.
* Offer your seat to lady & elderly.
* Make room for others.
* Don't block the passage.
* Maintain a certain distance from passengers.
* If with an acquaintance, offer to buy their ticket.
* Keep your bags on the floor.
* Don't smell offensively.
* Don't make a public display of affection, holding hands are alright, wresting hands are not.
EARLY DAYS
* A gentleman should never display his emotions or have an out burst in public. In the event of an undesirable occurrence, he shall be in control at all times and keep the situations well within hand. A lady may maintain an aloof demeanor and request her escort to take her home immediately, if faced with an unpleasant situation.
AT PUBLIC GATHERINGS
* Being polished and subdued in manner and bearing is the single most important thing at a public gathering. As at the other times considerations towards others, through speech and conduct is
important. Since one is in the midst of a large number of people, usual norms of dressing and behaviour apply. Forms of etiquette must be rigidly adhered to at public gathering.
* Inquire before hand about procedure and do’s & don’t.
* If not sure, observe others.
* Take care not to offend.
* Be inconspicuous.
* Do not talk during the ceremony.
* Dress and act appropriately.
* Do not disturb others.
* Remember where you are.
* Each place of worship has its specific set of worms to observe.
GENERAL EITQUETTE
* Dress for the event.
* Keep voice and gestures subdued.
* Avoid taking babies to indoor shows.
* Don't indulge in long conversation with acquaintances.
* Inquire, if a seat is taken before occupying it.
* Don't “reserve” too many seats.
* If person does not show up soon, let the seat go.
AT THE SHOW
* Inquire about the others preference of show.
* Get good seat in advance.
* Pay for your share of tickets.
* Collect tickets before leaving home.
* Do not enter late or leave early.
* Don't occupy others seats.
* If unable to find seat ask the usher.
* Don’t graze past others in passing.
* Make room for those who wish to pass.
* Do not talk during the show.
* Do not block the view of those behind.
* Do not disturb others viewing pleasure.
* Offer to buy refreshments during the intermission.
* Don't race to the exit after the show.
* Unescorted ladies should be dropped off.
* Watching a movie in a group does not give one the sight to laugh, joke or disturb others.
ON HANDLING CHILDREN
* Use judgment in taking children.
* Inquire before hand if allowed.
* Inquire about facilities available.
* Consult kids before taking them.
* Lay conditions for good behaviour.
* Keep children in check at the venue.
* If an infant cries, take it outside immediately.
* On repeated disturbances to others, leave the premises.
* Remember the next time around.
* Entertainment is a serious business; do not spoil it for others.
EARLY DAYS
* A gentleman at the opera must always be in full dress, white tie, white waist coast, tail coat and white gloves. He must, however wear white gloves only at the opera or while ushering at a wedding.
* The gentleman must never enter a box where he knows only the men and expect to be introduced to the ladies. A lady’s box is like her home and only those who are known to visit her may enter her box.
CLUB ETIQUETTES
* The primary rule of any club is good decorum and consideration towards others members. The idea of a club is not to stick to cliques and do the same things one can do at home, but to meet new people and do new things while gaining club membership definitely places one among the privileged gentry. It is imperative to follow the house rules and not act privileged. The primary rule of a club involves being a gentleman, act like one.
GENERAL ETIQUETTE
* Each club has a set of by laws or “house rules” that must be followed.
* However silly or outdated certain rules may appear (“no women allowed in certain rooms,” no children after 9PM ” etc) they should be followed.
* Tradition plays an integral part the charm and ambiance of clubs.
* New members should tread a little carefully and possibly seek older ones’ help, till they find their ropes.
* Children should not be allowed to run free and disturb others guests.
* Each club has a specific ambiance protocol or degree of exclusivity that should be borne in mind.
* It is a good idea to go through the club book at the time of joining.
* There is always a parallel, unwritten code of conduct existing side by side.
* Rudeness to staff is bad from, they are doing their job.
* Follow the dress code, attire forms an important part of a club image.
* At the end of the day, a guest is eventually just that a guest.
* Restraint, respect, courtesy, considerations and manners, some of the things that matters above everything else.
* joining an exclusive club exclusive club does not give you the freedom to throw your weight around, but the responsibility to behave appropriately.
SPECIAL POINTERS
* The guest’s behavior on the premises is the member’s responsibility.
* Club employees are employed by the club and are not personal valets.
* Most norms of good behaviour in a club are just those followed in private homes.
* Other members have a right to their privacy as well.
* Pay your dues, don’t run up debts, don’t sponge, never show irritability.
* Different clubs or parts of club have varying degrees of informality.
* Practice or avoid the same things that you would in any social group.
* Each section of the club (Reading room, cards room, Billiards room etc) has a separate decorum and set of rules.
* Don't play politics, if standing for office bearer elections, play fair and with dignity.
* Rather than join a club and complain about its “Stuffiness” or rigid rules, check out beforehand and stay away if so.
* There are no ‘greater’ or ‘lesser’ members, just members.
EARLY DAYS
* New members should take care not to sit in chairs normally used by veteran members or play at tables with high stakes, unless they actually intended to. Instead they should ask for a copy of the club book, carefully study the by laws or “house rules” and be sure to obey.
ENAGAGEMENT ETIQUETTES
* An engagement is that special period when you make a commitment to prepare for an even bigger one. However, despite it’s “almost there but not quite” status. It required and deserves all the grace, decorum and sensitivity of the final event. It is good to remember that from this moment on (one has responsibility to behave appropriately) one’s move may be watched a wee bit more closely and one would behave appropriately. Even in these times of liberty and permissiveness, a certain degree of correctness is still a mark of good taste.
* An engagement ring is a statement of love and commitment, not a statement of income.
* In the final reckoning, an engagement is about honour and commitment and above all love.
* Each culture has its own modus operandi of approaching the potential spouse’s family to seek consent for match.
* Despite changed times and changed perceptions; a lot of the old world protocol still remains and must be handled accordingly.
* Outdated gender biases should be discarded.
* The ideal engagement period is neither too long nor short.
* All parties concerned are on equal footing, disregard of income, social status and other factors.
* The best place for families and couples to meet is usually half way.
* While differences may exist between individuals or families, a ‘win-win’ trade off is best worked out and decided before hand, keeping everyone’s interest in mind.
* When both families are not evenly matched financially, opt for the simple, the unassuming, the subtle.
* In case of the demise in the family, the occasion may be postponed accordingly, if deemed fit.
* While degree of familiarity between couples or families is a matter of choice, it doesn’t hurt to act and think responsibly.
* While modes of behaviour need not change radically after the engagement, it is good idea to keep others partner to feelings or sentiments in mind.
* One needs to also keep in mind that one’s behaviour henceforth, reflects on both partners.
* Don't act out love scenes in public that may make others uncomfortable.
* Mutual caring and affection speaks for itself and need not be on display for all to see.
* While possessiveness is frowned upon, one can find out what makes ones betrothed uncomfortable and avoid it.
* Calling it off, it at all, should be done with grace and dignity without acrimonious backbiting.
* The strength of the bond matters more than the size of the gem.
EARLY DAYS
* When a young maiden’s beaus came to visit her (one at a time) in formal clothes and manners, she “received” them in her “company best” and they sat stiffly in the “front parlor” and made polite formal conversation addressing each others as Miss Sangita or Mr Rahul.
* The young man was said to be devoted to her, while each was actually acting out a role. He of an admirer, she of a siren and each was a total stranger to the other.
PREPARATION BEFORE A WEDDING
* While a wedding is largely a personal and a private affair, a number of others people are also involved – Friends, relatives, guests who will be sparing their time to grace the occasion and show their respect. Etiquettes dictate that their sensibilities need to be taken into account too, thereby expressing, thanks to their love and support.
* A dozen things need to be planned simultaneously for the wedding and even after. Everything needs to be in order, in advance, to ensure smooth functioning. The charm of wedding lies in its beauty and attention to detail, not in the numbers of guests or items on the menu.
THE WEDDING PLANNER
* It is never too early to plan.
* Fix a date, time & venue that will be convenient for most.
* Try not to clash with an important event (festivals, matches other weddings).
* Speak to someone experienced and learn from them.
* Delegate responsibilities for all tasks and follow up constantly.
* Consider the various possibilities of what may go wrong and plan for contingencies.
* Crucial preparations (like wedding outfits) may be made sufficiently in advance to give time for corrections, if any.
* It is usually a good idea to plan for a little extra.
* Catering estimates should also error the side of caution.
* Travel & transport arrangements may need to be made for guests.
* Arrange for sufficient parking facilities at the venue.
* Decide on how the expenses are to be divided between the families.
* Don’t attempt expenditure beyond your means.
* Sometimes, a small intimate affair among family and close friends is much better.
* Be tactful & sensitive when the other family is a little less well off.
* Offer to share the costs, if the other family is paying, keep your expenses low.
* While making selections a balance needs to be maintained between “taste” and “waste”.
* Avoid gaudy, flashy display, keeping in mind the current scenario.
* The final cost may be divided equally or proportionately, whatever seems fair.
* The religious aspects of a wedding should not be ignored.
* The wedding couples honeymoon also needs to be well planned in advance.
* A wedding is remembered for the aesthetics; pay special attention to floral and others items of beauty.
* Fewer, well planned things, taste fully put together, are better than several hastily assembled ones.
* Traditionally, the brides’ family bears most of the cost, but now days most families share it. This is a personal and individual situation. The bridal couple agrees on a format, which is then presented to the families for their opinion and approval.
* “Mr. & Mrs.” Bedi would be delighted………….. Invitations to the actual wedding ceremony are exhaustedly sent, regardless of whether one is likely to come or not, as they are intended to be carriers of the message. Don't take into consideration social status while inviting.
* Make a detailed list of guests ensuring none are missed out.
* Scan separate data bases of contacts thoroughly (personal, professional, geographic etc.)
* Prepare several lists, then mix, individual couples, both families, other guests.
* Address, stamp, enclose and post each envelope carefully.
* Special staff may be hired for clerical assistance.
* Send invitations sufficiently in advance, give time to plan.
* Make phone calls, in addition to special guests.
* Ensure invitees names are spelt correctly.
* Mention clearly who is invited (entire family or just the couple).
* Phone numbers may be provided for contact.
* Follow up with the courier to make sure invitations have reached.
* In case of undelivered invitations, try to locate correct address.
* On remembering someone missed out, invite personally and apologise.
* Separately mention events or ceremonies extending.
* A wedding is not a dinner where you pick guests who mix well.
* An invitation is not a marketing brochure for relative’s businesses.
* In the end, it’s how you spend the money, not how much.
* Regardless of how much things have changed the bride still looks radiant, the occasions still memorable and women still cry at wedding.
POSITION IN THE COMMUNITY
* While there will invariably be distinctions and differences between members of a community based on class, breeding, status and income, it pays to remember that we are members of the same stock, originated from the same raw material, some of us probably having had a slight head start over others.
* “Positions” should be perceived, understood, perhaps even implied but never pointed out.
* If you are truly ahead of the others, it will eventually get noticed.
* The best way to stand tall is to stand on your own merit, devoid of false trappings.
* Whether you end up being loved, liked, feared respected or admired is entirely upon your code of conduct and behaviour towards others.
* If you want more from the community try putting more into it first.
* Terms like above, below, higher or lower, exist only in perceptions.
* Different places have their own set of “rules” and what works well in one may not do so in another.
* Money is not absolutely necessary for social positions.
* Be nice to all, ingratiating to none and treat all with the same considerations.
* “Buying” of privileges or benefits are, at best, short terms gains.
* Before seeking attention or recognition, one needs to be first worthy of them.
* Every society or group has its own unwritten rules or entry barriers, go with the flow.
* The best way to make acquaintance in a new town is to join a common group of activity.
* While throwing parties of dinners may not be mandatory, one should return hospitality received.
* In the final reckoning whatever you throw into the world, comes back to you.
* Social positions are best accorded and awarded, not sought.
* “Keeping up with the juries is best restricted to idiomatic usage.
* Rather than clamber after position it is better to quietly do what one is called upon for, knowing that recognition will eventually come with merit, Grace, dignity, friendliness and a helpful streak work for better than any contrived measures for gaining popularity or status.
* Class and breeding speaks for themselves and need not be heralded from the rooftops.
EARLY DAYS
* When Mr & Mrs Bedi calls on Mr & Mrs New Entrant , the latter may call on her in return, but it would be presumptuous to invite a prominent members of society unless first invited by her. Mrs New Entrant may also not invite Mrs Bedi for dinner after having merely been over for tea.
GAMES AND SPORTS
* Playing fair, supporting your team mates, acknowledging your opponent, accepting the referee’s decision, being gracious in victory and dignified in defeat that is what great sport is all about. Each game has its own rules and the players needs to know them before he makes the first move or plays the first stroke.
* While each sport is played differently, the same principle of sportsmanship and going by the rules are common to all. As the Olympus motto aptly states, “for the honour of our country and the glory of sports.”
THE EIGHT GREAT RULES
* Play by the rules.
* Play for the game’s sake.
* Never lose your temper.
* Never use foul means to win.
* Never disturb a players’ concentration.
* Never leave halfway, especially if you are losing.
* Be a gracious winner and a good loser.
* The game is always greater than the player.
SPECIAL POINTERS
* No body likes a sore loser.
* A mediocre player with good sportsmanship is better than a good one with unsporting conduct.
* More games are lost through over confidence and lack of focus than any other factor.
* You have a responsibility to your partner, your team, your club, your sponsor, your state/country and to the game itself.
* Here an instructor, attend coaching, pick up techniques and practice well before inviting an opponent to insist his time and effort.
* If learning, invite people of your caliber to play with, never an expert.
* Nothing spoils a game more than playing the ‘blame game’.
* Just give it your best shot and accept the outcome.
* Give your opponent the benefit of doubt.
* The locker room pep talk, the huddle, the high fives-each is an indomitable toot of support, faith and team spirit.
* Don't complain, find scapegoats, lose your cool, throw tantrums or give up.
* Be attentive especially when there is a partner involved.
* Avoid post mortems, excessive talks, crude behaviour & mannerisms.
* While playing against a woman, don’t employ gender advantages, like muscle power to wear her out.
* Female should not adopt the clothing and playing styles of male players.
* Sometimes, it really is ‘just a game!’.
EARLY DAYS
* When a great scorer comes to write against your name, He writes not that you won or lost, but how you played the game.
- Rudyard Kipling.
FUNDAMENTALS OF GOOD BEHAVIOUR
CODE OF HONOUR
* Keeping one’s word.
* Living by one’s precipices.
* Sticking to one’s convictions.
* Total integrity in all areas.
* Following your heart.
* Manners are an integral part of a person and remain with one lifelong, regardless of age, time or place.
DECENCY & DECORUM
* Avoid borrowing rarely from a man, never from a woman.
* Pay promptly and in full.
* Don't sponge off others.
* Avoid any word or action that may be embarrassing in public.
FIGURE OF SPEECH
* Control your temper at all times.
* Overtly exhibiting emotions in public is bad form.
* Avoid dropping names or mentioning how much things cost.
* Simplicity in speech and manners is language in its purest form.
* A well bred person is always concerned about the feelings of others and considerate about those less fortunately placed.
ALL IN THE FAMILY
* Don't discuss family affairs in public.
* Don't speak casually or critically of your spouse.
* Treat your spouse respectfully before others.
* A man who smears his wife’s name in public smears his own.
TAKING CARE OF BUSINESS
* Don’t exploit the poor, helpless or women in business.
* Never take advantage of another’s weakness or ignorance.
* Shun making a display of wealth or possessions.
* Don't mention money outside of business hours.
QUOTABLE QUOTE
Thackeray’s social climber who “kicks the boots of those above him and kicks the faces of those below” is an excellent example of what a gentleman is not”.
EARLY DAYS
* A gentleman upon seeing a young man affected by alcohol in the presence of ladies quickly includes the youth to depart. An older man similarly addicted to alcohol need not be discussed as he ceases being asked to the house of ladies.
* A gentleman does not bow to a lady from a club window, nor should ladies be discussed in a man’s club. Notwithstanding advertisements in magazines, a discussion of under wear or toilet articles and their use is unpleasant in polite conversation.
HOME ETIQUETTE & ‘GUESTIQUETTE’
* Perhaps one of the most commonest mistakes we make is in assuming that manners and etiquette are important only out side the house or in office. Our immediate family, the people we live with for years, who provide us with the back bone of a secure, social existence are equally deserving, if not more, of consider actions of the highest order.
* It is incorrect to think or say that etiquette can be done away with a home because “a man needs at least some place where he can relax and not brother with such things.” Care, compassion and sensitivity towards loved ones are not things that require an effort, they are things that can and should come to us normally, thereby becoming second nature.
* The grooming a child gets at home is the first step towards all its interaction that will follow in life. It is also important to keep in mind that the manners we display at home are the same ones that our children will display when they go out for the world to witness.
* True etiquette is when you behave with the same consideration at home as you do outside.
* “Quality time” with the family is more than just a fancy expression even if it’s shared meal at the table.
SOME DO’S & DON'T’S
* Good manners like charity begin at home.
* Don't take your family for granted.
* Express basic courtesy at all times.
* Don't take out for frustrations, from work at home.
* Share in the household chores.
* Voice your appreciation often.
* Introduce the family to visitors.
* Take everyone seriously, even the young and old.
* If you’re going to be late, call and inform.
* Don't ask people over for a meal unexpectedly.
* Take time out for the family.
* Check with the spouse before making a social commitment.
* Going to the office doesn't make what you do more important than the rest.
* Dressing up for company is nice; dressing up for the spouse is nicer.
AVOID BEFORE CHILDREN
* Temper * Cruelty * Quarrels
* Vulgarity * Gossips * Crudeness
* Arrogance * Lack of ethics
* Children tend to pick up and imitate adult behaviour.
* It is never too early to learn good behaviour and the sooner the better.
* There is no difference between “outside” manners and “home” manners, both are manners.
GUESTIQUETTE
* In many eastern cultures, a guest is considered next only to God. The entire origin of etiquette is based on traditions of generosity and hospitality “Gestiquette” or guest etiquette deals with manners extended towards a guest or visitor, making him feel comfortable in a strange environment and taking care of his needs & well being.
* The best way to take care of a guest is not to make him feel like one.
* There is no “time off” for good behaviour.
EARLY DAYS
There is no greater mark of a man or better judge of his character than observing the way he is towards his family and towards visitors at his home for while he is acting out a role at work and being paid for it, he is his true self at home.
CARDS & VISITS
Nothing reflects a person as much as a visiting card handed over while meeting. Style, design & fonts blend to create a reasonably reliable impression of the individual. Appointments are fixed, audiences are granted and deals clinched based on the impression created. In the final reckoning, a card is more than just name, address, phone number and profession.
BUSINESS CARDS ETIQUETTE
BASIC POINTERS
* Standard size
* Striking, yet simple.
* Easy to read.
* Minimum basic information.
* Devoid of clutter.
* Not a billboard.
ADDITIONAL POINTERS
* Carry separately in a case.
* Don't hand out to all and sundry.
* Avoid scribbling on the rear.
* Keep them handing, keep them clean.
* Print bilingual, if necessary.
* Always offer in exchange.
* Imitate the other while landing.
* Offer them facing upwards.
* Read before tucking away.
* Don't write on someone’s card in his presence.
* Avoiding asking very senior individuals for theirs.
* Present with right hand in Middle East and both hands in Asia .
WHEN VISITORS COME CALLING
* While extending an invitation, be specific.
* It is okay to leave an open invitation.
* Don't make the caller wait beyond the time given.
* If not ready give instructions for person to be made comfortable.
* Apologise later for making the person wait.
* Don't focus on something else while entertaining.
* Don't look at the clock.
* Don't rush the caller once you have given time.
* Avoid receiving second visitor simultaneously.
* If entertaining his people, give equal attentive to both.
* Don’t close the door in the person’s face.
* Walk the visitor to the door, if possible.
ON VISITING OTHERS
* Call before dropping in.
* Wipe your feet before entering.
* On being ushered in, take a seat quietly & wait.
* On finding another person upon arrival, apologize for the intrusions.
* If appearing like you are interrupting, offer to come later.
* Be careful where you place you things.
* If the hostess is occupied, offer to come later.
* Be careful where you place your things.
* If hostess is occupies, offer to wait.
* Set in relaxed, yet in dignified manner.
* If offered refreshments, choose appropriately.
* Keep the visit short unless asked otherwise.
* On arrival of another visitor after you, offer to cut short your visit.
SOME DON'T’S
* Don't drop in because you “were in the neighborhood,” once too offer.
* Don't always jump at the first invitation.
* Don’t violate your host’s space in any manner.
* Don’t spread your belongings allover the place.
* Don't linger after saying “good bye”.
RECEIVING CALLERS AT A BAD TIME
* Greet politely, then regret express inability to receive visitors.
* Offer an alternative time to meet.
* If able to spare just few minutes, state so explicitly.
* Don't initiate important discussions if time appears insufficient.
* Politely ask to be excused when the time is up.
VISITING THE SICK
* Inquire if you may drop in.
* Confirm the day and time.
* Ask if they need anything.
* Take a gift along, cards, flower, fruits, books.
* Confirm to visiting hours.
* Respect the hospital regulations.
* Don't upset the patient in any manner.
* Maintain a proper correctness.
* Be cheerful without being loud.
* Keep the patient spirits up.
* Don't make the patient exert himself.
* Set an appropriate place.
* Don't stay for long.
* Wish the family well.
* Offer help if required.
* Politeness and respect towards visitors are far more elegant than the largest of monsoons and the fanciest of spreads.
EARLY DAYS
* While the initial purpose of a visiting and was to leave behind a sign of having visited someone’s premises, its use in most recent years has turned increasingly multipurpose from being a public relations device to a marketing tool, a silent messenger to a miniature note pad.
DEALING WITH PEOPLE
* A good mixer gets along with all kinds of people showing interest in people and their work has a positive stimulus effect. While cultivated manners are as asset, one also needs to show expertise at work.
MANAGING RECATIONSHIPS
* Accept people the way they are.
* Respect the feelings of others.
* Be gracious in your dealings.
* Handle all situations with tact and gentleness.
* Minimize areas of conflict.
* Always keep your word.
* Don't offer unsolicited advice.
* If you do, keep it brief.
* Don't carry out postmortems.
* Don't patronize people or take them for granted.
* Don't play games, be honest and sincere.
* Give people the freedom to choose for themselves.
* Try to see things from others point of view.
* Soften the attack by being circumspect & tactful.
* Say “we” instead of “I”.
* Let your comments be private & specific.
* Avoid saying some act was stupid.
* Don't criticize or correct in public.
* Practice the art of subtlety and diplomacy.
* A little tact goes a long way.
DEALING WITH STEREO TYPES
* Set aside preconceived notions about “correct” behaviour.
* Tackle each situation with an open mind.
* While dealing with a foreign culture, don’t hesitate to ask for help.
* Admit your ignorance when you don’t know.
* Visitors don’t necessarily have to be taken to an ethnic restaurant.
* Jettison ideas that Asians are remote, Japanese shy, German cold etc.
PHYSICAL CONTACT
* Make sure the other person’s culture permits physical contact.
* Shake hand with the woman or kiss only if she makes a move.
* A Kiss is usually a quick peck on either check.
* Shoulder thumping and back slapping is best avoided.
GESTURES TO AVOID
* Avoid beckoning someone with a crooked index finger.
* Don't clap or snap fingers to catch a waiter’s attention.
* Avoid standing with arms folded on chest or akimbo (hands in hips).
continued in ETIQUETTES-5
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