TABLE ETIQUETTES
56. Basic dinning skill are extremely important and cannot be ignored few actors can make you or break you the way bad table manner can. People tend to judge your abilities and character by the way you conduct yourself at table. A person’s professional polish is very visible while dinning since most business is finalized at the tables
and every single action of yours is judged. Poor eating skills can “turn off” the client and lost potential business.
57. Some Don’t
(a) Use the Napkin.
(b) Wait to be sealed.
(c) Keep you hands on the table.
(d) Place your glass where it will not be knocked over.
(e) Offer others before you serve yourself.
(f) Eat in moderations.
(g) Join in the conversation.
(h) Pay attention to what’s going on around you.
(j) Keep pace with other, while serving yourself.
(k) Before taking seconds, look out for every one else.
(l) Wipe you mouth from time to time.
(m) Offer to pass the food around.
(n) Always pass the salt & pepper together.
(o) Place the bones in a side dish.
(p) On completing your meal, place your napkin to the right of your plate.
(q) Cover your mouth while using a toothpick. (Modern version, do it in bathroom)
(r) Push the chair back in when you rise.
58. Some Don’ts
(a) Right of your plate. Don’t keep people waiting at the table.
(b) Don’t touch the food with your fingers.
(c) Don’t apply the butter directly on the toast.
(d) Don’t grab the biggest piece.
(e) Don’t overload you fork.
(f) Don’t reach, ask you things to be passed.
(g) Don’t blow on hot liquids.
(h) Don’t chew noisily or clatter your spoon.
(j) Don’t place any pers belongings on the table.
(k) Don’t play with the cutlery.
(m) Don’t frown if you don’t like the taste of some things.
(n) Don’t slurp liquid noisily.
(o) Don’t lick you finger or make smacking sounds.
(p) Don’t smear the glass with lipsticks marks.
(q) Don’t pick up anything that in fallen down.
(r) Don’t stick your fingers into your mouth.
(s) Don’t wave cutters around to make a point.
(t) Don’t belch (excuse yourself if you do so)
(v) Don’t wave cutlers around to make a point.
(w) Don’t discuss unpleasant subject on the table.
(x) Don’t push away the plates or stack them after eating.
(y) Liquids on the lift & solids on the right.
(z) Elbows never, forearm sometimes, wrists always.
59. Special Pointers
(a) Seat yourself from the left side of the chair.
(b) Watch the others if you are not sure of anything.
(c) Once a piece of cutlery is lifted, it goes on your plate.
(d) Asking for seasoning may be seen as an affront.
(e) If asked about a dish you don’t like, say, “distinctive taste”.
(f) Use the knife to cut soft foods.
(g) When offered a new dish, do not examine critically and refuse.
(h) While removing a foreign object from the food be subtle.
(j) If you need to spit something out, use your napkin directly.
(k) Excuse yourself while leaving the table.
(l) Don’t ask where someone is going when he leaves the table.
(m) If you knock something over, stay calm and clean it up quickly.
(n) By modern code, its okay to use fingers for things like asparagus & chicken on the bone.
60. The Business Meal
(a) You are always a representative of your company even at the table.
(b) Your social skills and business acumen are seen by your ability to organise.
(c) Don’t experiment; pick a quality restaurant noted for good service.
(d) Arrive well before the guests.
(e) Leave instructions for your party.
(f) Place handbags/briefcases on the floor, on the side of the chair.
(g) Order drinks/cocktails before lunch as per individual’s choice.
(h) Offer another, before ordering the food.
(j) Don’t let anything come in the way of a good dining experience.
(k) Serious business talk is saved for later in the meal.
(l) Don’t make shop talk till your lost does.
(m) Inquire of the guests wish to have desert or coffee.
(n) Excuse yourself from the table if you use phone.
(o) You may examine the bill for discrepancies later.
(p) Don’t blow on hot liquids.
(q) Don't being your calculator to table.
(r) Leave at 15% Gp.
(s) Thank the “maitre d”.
(t) “The entire world was your oyster, but you sued the wrong fork.
61. Early Days After all the reams & tomes compiled on table manners and during etiquettes over the ages, the most sensible still continue to be what our mothers taught us as little children.
62. Mama’s House Rules
(a) Don't talk with your mouth full.
(b) Don't play with your food.
(c) Don't spill on the table.
(d) Don't bolt your food.
(e) Eat in small morsel.
(f) Don't put your elbows on the table.
(g) Don't make noise while eating.
(h) Don't waste.
(j) Don't read on the table.
ENTERTAINING & DINING OUT
63. Probably the most revered area of all, in etiquette, as the art of entertaining or hostile dinner, the ultimate test of a lady, which decides her entry into the social register. The list of skills sets requires not just cooking and serving but mixing & matching the guest list, grooming the hired help, rustling up an appropriate wardrobe, carrying up an ambience keeping the spirits up, making sparkling conversation and simultaneously juggling a dozen other variables, most of them unexpected and uncertain.
64. The discovery of new dish does more for human happiness then the discovery of a new star.
- Brillat Savat
65. Eat, Drink & be merry for tomorrow you may diet.
- William G. Beyer
66. The Super Seven:- Food? Service? Guests? Table top? Ambience? Charm? Hospitality?
67. Host’s Duties
(a) The foremost duty of a host to put the guests instantly at ease, upon arriving.
(b) Invite people who will complement each other.
(c) Find out preference before hand.
(d) Don't spend too much time in the kitchen, once the guests arrive.
(e) Introduce the guests along with a topic of common interest.
(f) Keep the music soothing.
(g) See that the food is served in time.
(h) See that each guest occupied fittingly.
(j) Offer to provide a ride to those who need one.
68. Food & Service
(a) Cook only what you are sure about.
(b) Make sure cutlery in clean.
(c) Try & provide a mixed, balanced fare.
(d) If providing drinks, have a seasonality well slacked bar.
(e) Space the food and drinks out leisurely.
(f) If permissible, allow the guests to choose their dinner time.
(g) If dinner is fixed, inform before hand.
(h) Accommodate indls who wish to dine early.
(j) The distance between dinning chairs should be just right.
(k) Compatibility is also important while seating.
(l) Service should be quick & noiseless.
(m) Serve from the left, remove from the right.
(n) The hired held need to be dressed & groomed well.
(o) While serving inquire about the nature and amount of portions preformed.
(p) Let the guest serve himself if he prefers.
(q) Inquire from time to time if anyone would like anything.
(r) Ensure everyone has had his fill, wilding desert.
(s) Allow the guests to help themselves.
69. Some Don'ts
(a) Don't experiment with anything learn the ropes before hand.
(b) Put only those things on the table that will be used.
(c) Ensure that the china is not clipped.
(d) Avoid expensive items you cannot risk breaking.
(e) Don't delay dinner for too long.
(f) Having begun, don’t stretch too much.
(g) Respect your guests eating habits, do not insist.
(h) Do not ask to remove the plate unless sure that one has finished.
(j) Do not pile up the plates or spoons while picking up.
(k) A few dishes well cooked make a much better dinner than a large number of Medicare ones.
70. Additional Pointers
(a) Prepare a list of things to do and procure beforehand.
(b) Pay attention to small things.
(c) Anticipate your guests’ needs and keep things ready.
(d) Ensure the washroom is clean, stocked and in working condition.
(e) Stay alert at all times.
(f) Divide your attention equally among all guests.
(g) Do not get too engrossed in a particular activity.
(h) Keep the conversation light and rolling.
(j) Bring each guest casually into the talk.
(k) Don't berate the keeping front of company.
(l) If something goes wrong, take it in stride.
(m) Make mental notes for the next time around.
(n) Keep an overview of everything.
71. Guest Duties
(a) In case of RSVP respond promptly.
(b) Don't ask who else in coming before giving your reply.
(c) If you cared call and inform.
(d) If allergies to something, tell the host before hand.
(e) Arrive within 15-20 min of the appointed time.
(f) Take a gift along.
(g) Set where you are asked to.
(h) Converse with people on both sides of you.
(j) Taste your food before asking for seasoning.
(k) If seconds are not offered, do not ask.
(l) Use coasters to avoid leaving wet masks.
(m) Refrain from consuming excessive alcohol.
(n) If dinner is not served, don’t make an issue of it.
(o) Offer to help out with the clearing & cleaning.
(p) Thank the hired keep.
(q) Call a send a note of thanks the next day.
(r) One of the most important rules for a guest is never to embarrass the host or vise versa.
72. Tips for Invitees
(a) Never break an obligation and then accept another invitation.
(b) Avoid inconvenience of any sort to your host.
(c) Do not ask for something not likely to be there.
(d) Avoid mentioning the word ‘dieting’.
(e) Mingle well, doesn’t stick to just few people.
(f) Be considerate towards other guests.
(g) If you see someone being left out, talk to him.
(h) Avoid using the host’s personal bathroom.
(j) Don't go wandering your host’s house.
(k) Keep in mind the effort made by your hostess and her staff.
(l) Do not exists on delaying dinner beyond a point, of the hostess wishes to serve the food while hot.
(m) Take portions from the part already cut into.
(n) Do not light up (even if other are), unless sure that no one minds.
(o) Don't make the fuss over the calories, tack in a little graciously.
(p) Don't refuse to eat fat carbohydrates or anything not home made.
(q) Don't ask if there are any ingredients which you are merely trying to avoid.
(r) Engagement with close friends or family members may be broken, but only in special cases, and not repeatedly.
73. Smoking Gun Syndrome
(a) Ask permission before smoking.
(b) Step outside if you need to smoke.
(c) Never light up between courses.
(d) Don't use the plate as an ashtray.
(e) Ask where the smoking room is.
(f) Better still, don’t smoke.
(g) While smoking areas were provided earlier and the guests notified this is no longer acceptable in many places.
(h) If the responsibility of both, the host and the guests to ensure that everything goes off well.
74. Dining Out
(a) Pick the restaurant based on food, menu, ambience, preference and location.
(b) Be specific about the date, time, place & loc while meeting someone.
(c) Don't study the menu forever.
(d) Don't snap your fingers or yell for a waiter.
(e) It is not necessary to approach friends at a restaurant.
(f) Don't order the most expensive items on the menu.
(g) If an acquaintance stops at your table, introduce him to everyone.
(h) Don't complain about the food.
(j) Don't discuss the prices.
(k) Table hopping is bad manner.
(l) To leave the table in between, do so between courses.
(m) Cross your fork & knife, if you leave the table.
(n) Don't wrestle for the cheque.
(o) Offer to split the amount.
(p) If the host is paying, don’t peak at the cheque.
(q) If you don’t wish to be served wine, place finger tip slightly on the glass rim.
(r) The basic rule for the cutlery is to start from the outside and work inwards.
75. Seating Order & Table locations
(a) Ask for table in a well lit area away from the path to kitchen.
(b) Book one in a quiet corner where you will not be disturbed.
(c) Reach well in time to claim your table.
(d) The host decides the chair locations for the quest.
(e) Seating should be friendly, comfortable and facilitate conversation.
(f) The host sits facing the dinning area, so he can summon the staff easily.
76. In Fine Spirits
(a) Alcohol is important as a social beverage.
(b) It is acceptable to politely refuse a drink and explain why.
(c) Avoid excess drinking and keep yourself in public.
77. Making a Toast
(a) Say nothing while you are being toasted.
(b) You may honour the host with a toast in return.
(c) Keep one ready in case you are asked to say one
(d) Keep the toast short and apt, commit it to memory.
(e) If a teetotaler, toasts with any drink, other than water.
(f) Hold the glass by the stem, not rim.
(g) Don't tap the glass to get the people’s attention.
(h) Avoid the ‘Chilled hard shake”, hold the glass in your left hand.
(j) President, Vice President, Governors, Mayors and foreign Ambassadors enter the room before their wives and are announced first. The President is simply announced as “The President”. However Minister’s, representatives & Secretaries who are not executives enter after their wives and are announced accordingly.
OFFICE ETIQUETTE
78. Being a place where you opened minimum of eight hours a day, after with the same people, for a mink of years, it is important to know the right manner of behaving in the workplace clash of egos and working styles, zealously guarded territories interdepartmental conflict, all have the patented to create trouble some conflagrations if handled incorrectly. As always, one needs to focus on good manners, courtesy and considerations.
79. Why Office Etiquette?
(a) Manners are now valued in the workplace more than ever before.
(b) As you arise in status, it is imperative to know how to speak, dress and react in various situations.
(c) As long as you display good manners, you may be excused for any breach of official protocol.
(d) Improves the image of organisation.
(e) The way you work with people is critical to your success.
(f) People with better etiquette skills climb the corporate ladder easier.
80. SOME BASICS
(a) Office is for official matters.
(b) Be professional in all aspects.
(c) Help out even if isn’t your job.
(d) Your subordinate’s work is as imp as yours.
(e) Keep conversation brief and to the print.
(f) Dress for the office.
(g) Do your home work.
(h) Prepare ahead.
(j) Don't make others wait.
(k) If unable to keep deadline, ask for extent soon if possible.
(l) Respect your colleagues work space & property.
(m) If you need to interrupt take permission, but keep it short.
(n) Don't gossip, complains or play polities.
(o) Don't swear at the computer.
(p) Avoid annoying and distracting habits.
(q) Don't use strong cologne or perfume.
(r) Keep a check on personal calls & visitors.
(s) The use of first names is generally dictated by office ethos.
(t) Proper etiquette at the work place generates efficiency.
81. Appointments & Meetings
(a) Don't drop in without appointment.
(b) Avoid calling on Monday morning or the weekend.
(c) Space out appointments with sufficient padding time.
(d) Be prompt & punctual.
(e) If you are going to be late, call ahead.
(f) Be prepared with all necessary date.
(g) Get the individual details right.
(h) Show appreciation if given an appoint mental short notice.
(j) Keep your portfolios clean & budging.
(k) Don't dump your briefcase on the client’s desk.
(l) If permitted to remove your coat, don’t roll up the sieves.
(m) Don't launch into shop talk straight away.
(n) Acknowledge any help given done in the past.
(o) If expecting a call mid way, inform before hand.
(p) Be professional, focused and on purpose.
(q) Keep a written record of important details.
(r) Be crisp, concise, and precise while talking.
(s) Don't pressure the client.
(t) Don't ignore the subordinates.
(u) Adhere to the time duration of the meeting, if specified.
(v) Keep track of time for next appointment.
(w) Respect the person’s time, offer to leave when through.
(x) If you wish to continue, as permission.
(y) Thank everyone who contributed.
(z) Get to know the secy’s name, she can be valuable.
(aa) If asked to spk, inquire about durations, content and audience profile.
(ab) Secret arise are important people and should not be taken for granted.
82. Customer Etiquette
(a) Maintain a spacious, comfortable waiting area.
(b) Listen and ask questions.
(c) Offer more perceived value.
(d) Return call promptly.
(e) Be visible and available.
(f) Thank client for the business.
(g) Visitors for senior pers are fact fully and politely screened to determine the purpose and importance of the visit and accordingly guided, all the while taking care to be helpful and respectful. Once granted an audience, they disserve undivided attention during the course of meeting.
83. On Making Someone Wait
(a) Call informs prescheduled appt if possible.
(b) Instruct that the person be kept comfortable.
(c) Offer coffee, newspaper or anything that may be needed.
(d) Step up briefly, request politely if visitor would mind waiting.
(e) Don't let the delay exceed 10-15 minutes.
(f) Cal
(g) Make amends and restore good will.
(h) Your visitor has his busy schedule too.
84. Boardroom Etiquette
(a) Be on time.
(b) Read the material including the agenda in advance.
(c) Have all the material ready.
(d) Shut off your cell phone.
(e) Place briefcases & purses on the floor.
(f) Avoid doodling, fidgeting, clicking or playing with objects.
(g) Avoid crossing your legs or slouching.
(h) Be formally attained, attentive & alert.
(j) Shake hands with all when you enter.
(k) Think before you speak briefly and to the point.
(l) Avoid interrupting the speaker.
(m) Be circumspect, rather than establish battle times.
(n) Make suggestions & recommendations, don’t be adamant.
(o) Speak positively and use “we” while referring to organization.
(p) Use honorifics, even if on first name basis. (“Mr. Andrews says…..”)
85. Chairman’s Etiquettes
(a) See the scheduled time if the meeting is comment to all.
(b) Keep the atmosphere conducive for a frank and open discussion.
(c) Avoid breaks at reasonable intervals.
(d) Give credit where deserved and thank all for attending.
(e) Name tags, if given should bear just the first and last names.
(f) Agenda must include all items with time frames.
(g) Copy of agenda must be given to all before the meeting.
(h) Keep a glass and bottle water with in reach.
(j) Eats can be added, but nothing greasy or heaving.
86. Informal Meetings
(a) Although informal meetings are usually more relaxed and may not necessarily take place in the office of or meeting room, a sense of professionalism and good business etiquette are still required.
(b) The meeting should be called by the senior most person or the one directly connected with the matter non hand (the chair).
(c) The chair decides the time place and agenda and confirm with the rest.
(d) The purpose, duration and expectations specific informatics or docu are clarified by the chair.
(e) No one should be kept waiting.
(f) No one should be kept waiting.
(g) An effort should be made to keep the meeting short, effective and within the agenda.
(h) Disagreement should be kept to a minimum.
(j) Proceeding and major decisions should be recorded by a pre appointed indl and the details distributed to attendees.
(k) Ones not present should be informed if the results affect them.
87. Formal Meetings
(a) Formal meetings normally have a fixed format the chair may be the same individual, reports, minutes or agenda or may be redistributed, voting may take place.
(b) Proper preparation is essential.
(c) Statistics, reports etc should be handed out well in advance.
(d) Dress well and arrive early.
(e) Switch off the cell phone.
(f) Go by the established seating pattern or ask.
(g) Acknowledge any interdictions or opening remark with a brief recognitions of the chair & other participants.
(h) Allow seniors to contribute first.
(j) Don't interrupt, return to the issue later with the chairs permission.
(k) Be brief and relevant while speaking.
(l) Address the chair unless the others are not doing so.
(m) Divulging info is a serious breach of etiquette.
88. Office Parties
(a) Office parties are good opportunities to improve morale and build good will. Remember that there are people who see you every day and will remember a lapse in behaviour, Keep in mind your alcoholic consumption and don’t embarrass yourself. Do not discuss business; this is the social occasions and an opportunity to learn more about your co workers.
(b) Office parties are indirect extension of work.
(c) Be aware that your edibility and professionalism are always visible.
(d) Have a fun time and stay in control.
(e) People who can advance your career can form an opinion.
(f) Your speech, behaviour, attitude can boost or mar your career.
89. Excerpts from An “Career Article: - Do manners matter at work? Manners do matter at work. However, they are slightly different from good manners praised in social situations. In social situations, good manners aim to help those around us feel comfortable. At work, good manners facilitate good working relationships and enhanced efficiency. In your social work life you want to be liked. The working world is all about the bottom line. Things move more quickly, sure, you need to cooperate with people to reach goals. However, you also must maintain a certain level of power to get heard and effect necessary changes. You don’t interrupt in social settings. However, in the business meeting, you may need to interrupt to get your ideas on the table. In a social gathering, it is uncouth to boast about grand achievements. Modesty is preferred. Business people will tell you if you don’t “toot your horn” nobody else wills and you may be overlooked. Don't take it to an extreme, but you’ve got to self promote to survive many times in a social setting, we promptly apologies for things that are not our faults we step aside quickly and take blame in order to comfort the other person. However, in business, saying, “I’m sorry” takes a different meaning. When it comes to responsibility & liability for a problem, while you should always be honest, you should not go out of your way to grab the blame. There are several fundamentals of etiquette that apply to business & social life. If you do, you’ll be remembered for the wrong season, on & off the job. Poor table manners, inappropriate welcome, poor listening, poor dress & grooming, poor tele phone behaviour, Inconsiderate of common space, Inappropriate behaviour, disregard for others time. Not paying your fair share, snooping. We are all guilty of accidental infractions. Make it a habit and you may find yourself being passed over for promotions or no longer included in client presentations or luncheons.
90. Early days: - The secy unit just an employee of the boss. She is an extension of him. She knows how he works, thinks and reacts. She knows how he likes his coffee and whose calls he wishes to avoid. She knows when he is in good mood and when the thunder clouds gather. Above all, she knows when to approach him to get something done and when to stay out of his way till the “all clear” blows again.
continued in ETIQUETTES-3
continued in ETIQUETTES-3
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