Wives can be trained to tolerate their
husbands smoking in bed. That is the
surest sign of a happy and successful marriage.
It is sometimes assumed, however, that the non smokers are morally
superior without realizing that they have missed one of the greatest pleasures
of mankind. Smoking is a moral weakness
but beware of the man without weakness.
He is not to be trusted. He is
apt to be always sober and he cannot make a single mistake. His habits are likely to be regular his
existence more mechanical and his head always mountains its supremacy over his
heart. I like reasonable persons, I hate
completely rational beings.
The pipe draws wisdom from the lips of the
philosopher, and shuts up the mouth of foolish.
It generates a style of conversation contemplative, thoughtful
benevolent and unaffected is such a rare thing that one is willing to pay a
high price to enjoy it. A man with a
pipe in his mouth is always happy, and happiness is the greatest of all moral
virtues. No cigar smoker ever committed
suicide. No pipe smoker ever quarrels
with his wife. The reason is simple; no
one can hold a pipe between one’s teeth and at the same time shout at the top
of one’s voice.
What happens when a husband who is a smoker
gets angry is that he immediately lights a cigarette or a pipe and looks
glum. His emotions find an outlet. That is why, when a wise wife sees her
husband about to fly into a fit of rage, she should gently stick a pipe in his
mouth and say, “There! Forget about it!” This formula always works; a wife may
fail, but a pipe never.
Smoking counts as one of the four human
inventions in the history of mankind that have left a deep biologic influence
on human culture.
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