“Rape “is the latest
four-letter word in the English language to be accepted into the public
vocabulary. But unlike the others which have recently been admitted to common
parlance, “rape” retains its dictionary meaning-that’s part of the trouble with
it. Most newly emancipated no relationship to their define meanings. But rape
is rape and it is with exactly that meaning that it is now, still somewhat
hesitantly, being pronounced out load. For centuries it was whispered behind
one’s hand, not spoken in mixed company, and never mentioned in front of the
children because, as everyone knew, rape wasn’t nice.
We still know that. In fact,
we now know, probably better than at any time in history, just how far from”
nice” rape really is. And this knowledge comes to us because we have finally
decided to talk about rape. In addition to those of us who are directly
concerned with its prevention, the rape victim herself can now speak out about
what happen to her. She can also now find the heaven of a listener who will be
concerned and sympathetic, and who will not forever afterward see her as a
“ruined woman”.
But this attitude is far from
universal. It exists mainly among young women and persons of either sex who
have joined the recent movements for rape prevention or victim support-a
relatively small segment of society. The balance of the population accepts the
present high-frequently usage of the term “rape” by the news media and the
entertainment world with emotions ranging all the way from amazement through anger.
We will hear more about rape.
And it is to be hoped that any remaining reluctance to engage in open
discussion of it will gradually disintegrate so that the way may be cleared for
progress in dealing with it.
During the past five years,
some of our inhibitions at discussing rape have been eroded away by the ever
increasing flood of articles, television shows, and lectures on this subject.
At present, just about every one of the regular TV drama shows, including the
new ones fall, has now used rape as a subject of one of its episodes. Prior to
that rape was one of the most hush-hush no-no’s on the air waves.
One reason for the avalanche
of rape dramas now being beamed into living rooms is that everything else that
could be said about sex has already been said, photographed, and relayed to us
in living color. The emancipation of rape opened up the first new subject
matter for TV viewing since Neil Armstrong stepped down onto the moon.
The other reason is that rape
has more impact than most topics. Everybody felt good when Armstrong’s big
clumsy boot slipped down into the moon dust. On the other hand, the emotions
aroused by rape drama are many and varied. They include disgust, hate, fear,
irritation, shame, horror, guilt, revenge, doubt-the list could go on and on,
as the discussions of the shows do afterward.
Many feel that there would be
no problem if rape were not publicized; some feel that there s such problem
anyway; others are increased by public apathy about real rapes, and many women
are badly frightened as they wonder if rape could possibly happen to them.
Some of the rape dramas have
erred badly and have presented situations connected with the treatment of the
victim which belong in an earlier time. But in general, the enlightening and
therefore useful because, unlike the giant step of the man on the moon, each
rape that occurs is a stumble backward into Dark Ages.
Why then has rape been a
forbidden topic for so long? The obvious answer is that it concern sex. But
marriage is concerned with sex too, and we have always been free to talk about
that. Love is concerned with sex; having babies also has something to do with
sex, as does the Miss America contest, fashion magazines, and yellow polka dot
bikinis. Why keep rape under wraps?
The answer probably lies in the fact that the
mention of rape makes us all uneasy-for different reasons depending on who we
are. It makes men queasiest of all perhaps; usually bring forth an initial
response of nervous laughter or guffaw-evoking jokes. After all, as far as the
normal, but uninformed, man knows, rape is something he might suddenly do
himself some night if life becomes too dull. It isn’t of course, but he knows
too little about it to realize that.
On the other hand, the
thoughtful normal man after hearing the details of a forcible rape finds it
difficult to believe. He cannot imagine himself maintaining any sex drive at
all when confronted by a crying, pleading woman who only complies with his
wishes because of mortal fear of him. He knows that all thoughts of sex – which
he equates with fun, romance, and mutual admiration-would leave him if the
woman were really struggling to get free, especially if she were also clearly
expressing repugnance for him. He does not realize that, to the rapist, the act
is not “love” not ardor, and usually not even passion; it is a way of debasing
and degrading a woman. (More about this later when I discuss the rapist.).
Therefore, to most men, forcible rape is unreal. This gives rise to the
community held view that: “There is no such thing as rape.”
The topic makes women uneasy
for a wide variety of reasons. To most women, it is almost as unreal as it is
to most men because they themselves have not experienced it, and few people who
have done so are in the habit of talking about it. Up until recently, most
women did not even know anyone who had experienced it-or at least they were not
aware that they knew a rape victim. This was because having been raped was in
the same category as having had an illegitimate child or V.D.-it was a dark
blot on one’s character and was kept as a morbid secret.
At the same time, an
occasional newspaper story about a particularly brutal rape-murder makes all
women shudder. They wonder if it could possibly happen to them, and if it did
how they would react. But like all other grim possibilities that are not
immediately at hand, it is much more comfortable to put the thought out of
one’s mind than to have it presented flatly as something that just might be
lurking around the next corner regardless of how impeccable a woman’s morals
might be. It is the shadowy figure in the night standing over one’s bed, the
glimpse of a woman crawling in the bedroom window, the horror of a sudden hand
from nowhere clutching at one’s throat. Practically every woman has, at sometime,
had such a nightmare. But upon awakening, she replaces it with, reproachful
self assurance: “How silly!” “Of course there’s no one there”
To be told that for a
startlingly large number of women, the nightmare did not go away, is
enlightenment that most women are happier without.
One way of coping with such
knowledge is to imagine. And then believe, that women to whom rape happens are
in some way vastly different from oneself. Deciding that they must have been
taller, shorter, fatter, thinner, older or younger will not work rape victims
come in all variations of these attributes. It is far easier to settle on some
impalpable quality which is not so easily measured with a ruler or scale. This
accounts for the overwhelming number of women who firmly believe that the most
claims of being raped are either outright lies, or that the rapes were brought
on by the victims herself, who was “out looking for it”.
In the majority of rapes, if
the actual details of each assault were made public, it would quickly dispel
these views. But rape details seldom are made public. The mores of news
reporting do not allow it. In one sense, this is just as a change in the
American way of life – few people could stand complete rape stories with their
morning coffee.
It takes a strong stomach and
repeated exposure to become habituated to the details of what actually happens
to rape victims. During and after a war, we often read of the tortures
inflicted on prisoners of war. Such things are being forced to drink one’s own
urine or being made to kneel on a stone floor for several hours are undeniably
shocking, painful, and degrading. But they are part of horrors of war, and with
war’s end, we rejoice that no one in our civilization will again be forced to
endure such indignities. Returning prisoners of war are treated with awe and
respect because of having lived through such humiliation and suffering.
Yet, every night of the
year(statistically speaking, once every fourteen minutes day and night, all
year long) here in our civilized society, some woman endures treatment which is
every bit as horrible, just as degrading, and equally painful. Being stripped
naked by two men, and held flat on one’s
back among the trash cans in an alley by one of them, while the other
repeatedly rams a dirty Coke bottle from one of those trash cans into one’s
vagina is not very civilized. But no one lauds the victims for surviving. No
one invited her to the white house for dinner in horror of what she has had to
live through.
We cringe at the thought of
small children in wartime being neglected hungry or shot at. Yet, at least one
out of every five rape victims in this country is under twelve years of age,
and many are as young as four or five years old. Their scares are as deep as
the war orphan’s but their stories can never be told. The public cannot reach
out to them with sympathy an understanding for what they have been through.
Instead, they are often severely scolded by a parent, or at the very least they
must be admonished to never mention the incident again. If it should become
known, neighbors who used to be close friend’s will not allow their children to
play with a little girl who has been raped.
So, rape has flourished and
increased, like a hidden infestation, because it is hard to face. Therefore,
the first step in reversing this trend must be to examine the facts. After
that, the fiction must be sheared away and discarded. Then the social climate
surrounding the rape victim must be considered, as well as the propensities of
the public and private agencies who take up her cause and the motivations of
the rapist. Only then will it be clear steps must be taken in order to clear up
the trouble with rape.
