Monday, September 15, 2014

The Enjoyment of Living - On Smoke & Incense



Wives can be trained to tolerate their husbands smoking in bed.  That is the surest sign of a happy and successful marriage.  It is sometimes assumed, however, that the non smokers are morally superior without realizing that they have missed one of the greatest pleasures of mankind.  Smoking is a moral weakness but beware of the man without weakness.  He is not to be trusted.  He is apt to be always sober and he cannot make a single mistake.  His habits are likely to be regular his existence more mechanical and his head always mountains its supremacy over his heart.  I like reasonable persons, I hate completely rational beings.

The pipe draws wisdom from the lips of the philosopher, and shuts up the mouth of foolish.  It generates a style of conversation contemplative, thoughtful benevolent and unaffected is such a rare thing that one is willing to pay a high price to enjoy it.  A man with a pipe in his mouth is always happy, and happiness is the greatest of all moral virtues.  No cigar smoker ever committed suicide.  No pipe smoker ever quarrels with his wife.  The reason is simple; no one can hold a pipe between one’s teeth and at the same time shout at the top of one’s voice.

What happens when a husband who is a smoker gets angry is that he immediately lights a cigarette or a pipe and looks glum.  His emotions find an outlet.  That is why, when a wise wife sees her husband about to fly into a fit of rage, she should gently stick a pipe in his mouth and say, “There! Forget about it!” This formula always works; a wife may fail, but a pipe never.

Smoking counts as one of the four human inventions in the history of mankind that have left a deep biologic influence on human culture.

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