Five Powerful Ways to Build Self Confidence

Self-confident people are admired by others and inspire confidence in others. They face their fears head-on and tend to be risk takers. They know that no matter what obstacles come their way, they have the ability to get past them. Self-confident people tend to see their lives in a positive light even when things aren't going so well, and they are typically satisfied with and respect themselves.

Wouldn't it be amazing to have this kind of self-confidence, every day of the week? Guess what? You can.

"Low self-confidence isn't a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered--just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better." --Barrie Davenport

It comes down to one simple question: If you don't believe in yourself, how do you expect anybody else to?

Try some of the tips listed below. Don't just read them and put them on the back burner. Really begin to practice them daily, beginning today. You might have to fake it at first and merely appear to be self-confident, but eventually you will begin to feel the foundation of self-confidence grow within you. With some time and practice (this is not an overnight phenomenon), you too can be a self-confident person, both inside and out, whom others admire and say "Yes!" to.

1. Stay away from negativity and bring on the positivity

This is the time to really evaluate your inner circle, including friends and family. This is a tough one, but it's time to seriously consider getting away from those individuals who put you down and shred your confidence. Even a temporary break from Debbie Downer can make a huge difference and help you make strides toward more self-confidence.

Be positive, even if you're not feeling it quite yet. Put some positive enthusiasm into your interactions with others and hit the ground running, excited to begin your next project. Stop focusing on the problems in your life and instead begin to focus on solutions and making positive changes.

2. Change your body language and image

This is where posture, smiling, eye contact, and speech slowly come into play. Just the simple act of pulling your shoulders back gives others the impression that you are a confident person. Smiling will not only make you feel better, but will make others feel more comfortable around you. Imagine a person with good posture and a smile and you'll be envisioning someone who is self-confident.

Look at the person you are speaking to, not at your shoes--keeping eye contact shows confidence. Last, speak slowly. Research has proved that those who take the time to speak slowly and clearly feel more self-confidence and appear more self-confident to others. The added bonus is they will actually be able to understand what you are saying.

Go the extra mile and style your hair, give yourself a clean shave, and dress nicely. Not only will this make you feel better about yourself, but others are more likely to perceive you as successful and self-confident as well. A great tip: When you purchase a new outfit, practice wearing it at home first to get past any wardrobe malfunctions before heading out.

3. Don't accept failure and get rid of the negative voices in your head

Never give up. Never accept failure. There is a solution to everything, so why would you want to throw in the towel? Make this your new mantra. Succeeding through great adversity is a huge confidence booster.

Low self-confidence is often caused by the negative thoughts running through our minds on an endless track. If you are constantly bashing yourself and saying you're not good enough, aren't attractive enough, aren't smart enough or athletic enough, and on and on, you are creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. You are becoming what you are preaching inside your head, and that's not good. The next time you hear that negativity in your head, switch it immediately to a positive affirmation and keep it up until it hits the caliber of a self-confidence boost.

4. Be prepared

Learn everything there is to know about your field, job, presentation--whatever is next on your "to conquer" list. If you are prepared, and have the knowledge to back it up, your self-confidence will soar.

5. For tough times, when all else fails: Create a great list

Life is full of challenges and there are times when it's difficult to keep our self-confidence up. Sit down right now and make a list of all the things in your life that you are thankful for, and another list of all the things you are proud of accomplishing. Once your lists are complete, post them on your refrigerator door, on the wall by your desk, on your bathroom mirror--somewhere where you can easily be reminded of what an amazing life you have and what an amazing person you really are. If you feel your self-confidence dwindling, take a look at those lists and let yourself feel and be inspired all over again by you.

Massacre Ghat : Kanpur, Uttar Pradesh, India

Massacre Ghat is one of the most important ghat among many ghats in Kanpur. Massacre Ghat, is situated just hundred yards of my residence in the Cantonment Area. It is located on the right bank of the River Ganga. Scores of people visit and have many tales to tell. Here is my research I share with you all.

Massacre Ghat has become extremely significant in history since the Revolt of 1857, which is also popularly referred to as the Sepoy Mutiny of 1857 or the first war of Indian Independence.

Said to trigger off the first war of Independence in India, on 27th June, 1857, Kanpur witnessed one of the darkest events of all times. As many as three hundred British men, women and children were butchered at the in Kanpur. Those who were able to escape such a brutal fate were later killed at what came to be known as the 'Bibighur Massacre'. The Ghat was renamed as Nana Rao Ghat as the rebellion was believed to have been led by Nana Sahib of Peshwa. This Sati Chaura Ghat later got recognized as Massacre Ghat.

Today the Massacre Ghat stands to tell the tragic story to those who visit it. A white temple stands at the site. Massacre Ghat in Kanpur, India would reveal to you, a darker and lesser known side of the history of Indian Independence.

Historical Massacre Ghat, that was a mute witness to one of the most gory massacre of the First War of Independence 1857, has fallen over bad days. It has even been discarded by Ganga. The river has changed its course and drifted about a kilometre from the ghat in Cantonment and towards Shuklaganj.

Today stray cattle loiter on the ghat littered with garbage and puja waste. Weeds have grown all over as district administration too has turned a blind eye towards its plight. The ghat has in fact gone dry as Ganga has drifted away. A few poodles of stagnant drainage water is what is left of once a swift flowing river. Devout, who turn up at the ghat for a dip, have to cover a long distance on river bed to reach the mainstream. Despite being a historical ghat it is lying neglected. Foot fall decreased drastically ever since the river drifted away. People turn up in the evening only during monsoon, when the river assumes gigantic proportion and even touches the ghat."

The ghat, gained notoriety as Massacre Ghat during the 1857 war of independence. Shedding light on it, local historian Manoj Kapoor said that on June 27, 1857, Kanpur (then known as Cawnpore) witnessed one of the grimmest incident during the struggle for independence. He said, "On June 26, 1857, head of British forces based in Cawnpore, Wheeler, surrendered before Nana Sahib after the latter promised to provide the Britishers with boats and safe passage to Allahabad through Ganga.

On June 27 morning, a large column of Britishers, including women and children, led by Wheeler emerged from the entrenchment. Nana Sahib had sent a number of carts, palkis and elephants to ferry women, children and the sick to Satti Chaura Ghat,. Company officers and armymen were allowed to carry arms and ammunition with them. At this ghat, Nana Sahib had arranged around 40 boats for their departure to Allahabad." Kapoor further said, "Wheeler and his party were the first to board a boat set it adrift. At the same moment somebody fired a shot possibly from high banks. In confusion, Indian boatmen jumped overboard knocking off a few cooking fire in the process. The fire soon engulfed a few boats."

Finding Beauty in You Scars

“Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Beauty is a concept I struggle with—what it means, why it matters. I struggle because huge chunks of my life have not been beautiful. They have been ugly, marred by trauma, with pain, and anger.

We think of beauty and often visualize glossy magazine pages and wafer thin models. We see beauty as superficial—eye color, hair texture, and numbers on a scale. We see beauty as something to be measured and weighed.

I don’t see beauty that way. I see beauty as the grace point between what hurts and what heals, between the shadow of tragedy and the light of joy. I find beauty in my scars.

We all have scars, inside and out. We have freckles from sun exposure, emotional trigger points, broken bones, and broken hearts.

However our scars manifest, we need not feel ashamed but beautiful.

It is beautiful to have lived, really lived, and to have the marks to prove it. It’s not a competition—as in “My scar is better than your scar”—but it’s a testament of our inner strength.

It takes nothing to wear a snazzy outfit well, but to wear our scars like diamonds? Now that is beautiful.

Fifteen years ago, I would have laughed at this assertion.

“Are you crazy?” I’d say, while applying lipstick before bed. I was that insecure, lips stained, hair fried by a straightening iron, pores clogged by residue foundation, all in an attempt to be different from how I naturally was, to be beautiful for someone else.

I covered my face to hide because it hurt to look at myself in the mirror. I was afraid my unbeautiful truth would show somehow through my skin—that people would know I had been abused, that I as a result was starving myself, harming myself in an effort to cope. I was afraid people would see that I was clinging to life by a shredding thread.

Now? I see scars and I see stories. I see a being who has lived, who has depth, who is a survivor. Living is beautiful. Being a part of this world is beautiful, smile-worthy, despite the tears.

Beauty isn’t a hidden folder full of Kate Moss images for a kid dying to forget and fit in, a lifted face, a fat injected smile, or six-pack abs. It is the smile we are born with, the smile that sources from the divine inside, the smile that can endure, even if we’ve been through a lot.

Emotional pain is slow to heal, as I have been slow to heal. My healing started with a word I received as a birthday gift. It was a photograph my friend took of a forest, the word “forgive” painted in pink on a stone. I didn’t understand why that word meant something until I really started to think about it.

I blamed myself for so long for things that weren’t my fault. Life stopped being beautiful to me, I stopped feeling beautiful inside, and my smile stopped shining beauty out into the world.

I think in order for us to make life beautiful we need to feel our smiles as we feel our frowns.

For so long, I only honored only my pain and my sorrow. I lost my smile, less because of the trauma and more because I spent so much time lamenting my scars.

When I decided they were beautiful, I became beautiful. When I took power away from the negative emotions, my unchangeable traumatic past, I was better able to find joy in the present.

How did I do this?

First, I made a soul collage, a board for the life of my dreams. I pasted onto the poster magazine images that depicted things I see as myself and want for myself. It became a beautiful visual guide for what matters to me beyond the superficial.

This board reminds me to honor who I am in essence, who I was before anything bad happened to me, before I believed anything was wrong with me. This board provides me with a path of beauty through the scars.

Secondly, I found the book The Why Café, by John P. Strelecky. He encourages readers to pinpoint their PFE (purpose for existence). While reading, I realized beauty is my PFE. My purpose is to make whatever I can beautiful. Not beautiful in the superficial sense but in the smile of the heart and soul sense. Thus far, it’s working.

Sometimes all it takes for your life to change is a shift in perspective, one solitary action, one solitary word, and everything is different—an action like a smile, a word like forgive.

Take a moment now to smile. Do you feel it in your muscles? In your skin? In your toes? Where do you feel happiness?

When bad things happen, we don’t instinctively feel happy and beautiful, but we don’t need to despair because life gets ugly sometimes. Joy and beauty are everywhere, in everything, in every one of us—no matter how we look, and no matter how we may hurt temporarily.

Grace is beauty in motion and we can create it by choosing to smile—to recognize that we’re strong, despite our insecurities, and the world is an amazing place, despite its tragedies.

We may hurt, but we will heal—and there’s beauty in our scars.